Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You had bad breath? ;)
render 0
Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)
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Comments (115)
SRMB4life 0
Oh damn! And LMAO @ #40's comment. Hilarious!
wrestler_fml 0
Who the hell wants to kiss a girl after she sucks his dick?? It's no big deal! He loves you, he was probably still in shock, and he was just thanking you for the sex. It doesn't detract from the love or bonding you 2 shared, he's just showing you that A) he loves you and appreciated it ALOT, and B) that he doesn't want to kiss a girl with either bad breath, or c*m in her mouth. ya dig? im USA wrestling. get at me
musickween312 0
i'm sorry
Misanthropist 0
Cry more, he obviously has different ways of expressing his affection than the cliche ways we have come to expect thanks to TV dramas and Disney movies. If he really didn't care he wouldn't have even driven you home or walked you to the door. Totally wasted FML.
dcapp 0
omg :( i woulda been real mad
xalfredx 0
church pat
80_proof 0
I can tell you first-hand that we men act weird after we ejaculate. It's in our genes. No joke. A man is hard-wired to lose interest in the opposite sex immediately after ejaculation. So don't feel bad, he was just acting weird because he came. It has nothing to do with you.
Nickodemus 0
One theory: he only kisses you when he's horny, or kissing you makes him so. Therefore he couldn't kiss you goodnight cause y'all would just end up doin it all over again this time at your place and you guys haven't built up enough stamina for that yet. Foresight on his part. Or YDI because you should be open and honest enough with your boyfriend to stop him when he does that and ask him what the F.
Lovebug9 0
#14 very funny. Not a big deal really. Some guys fall asleep right after, some guys don't like any physical contact after either. No biggie. You just feel bad because you are a woman and want to cuddle all night long. Men are different.
frozen_heart 0
#46 hahaha