Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He knows that I love when he breathes on my neck. Just when I was about to finish, he put his lips a millimeter away from my neck and ear, and breathed, "I love how you smell like my grandmother's house." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, as usual during sex, my boyfriend finished first, and then he "massaged" me so I could finish too. While he was doing that, his grandma called. He actually answered. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend of two years that he was my first kiss. His reply? I was the first person he ever whacked off to. FML
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Top comments
alex_smokin_okin 0
thats not an FML, my grandma has some pretty soft hands as well
bansheebomber 14
The cat? What about it?
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Comments (86)
alex_smokin_okin 0
thats not an FML, my grandma has some pretty soft hands as well
adhdkid411 0
el gato!
bansheebomber 14
The cat? What about it?
Random951 12
Well, his name does have ADHD in it so I guess that
EverWatcher 0
Yikes. Even if there's totally no hidden meaning, poor timing for the loss....
fillmyheart028 0
does he get turned on by his grandma? ...ughh
nando92 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
why are you stroking the back of his neck during sex or even at all? seems pointless to me but not really a FML
necromancerlord 0
The real FMl here is that during sex, they weren't having sex.
caitlinmarie 0
i really dont think that was ment to be an fml moment...
IWillEatYouAlive 16
Then why is it on Fmylife.com?
kungfupow 0
yeah you definitely shouldn't be bringing up your grandmother during sex though....
Karaix 0
I don't see how this is an FML! That's an awesome compliment, I wish someone would tell me I had my nana's hands. They're beautiful~!
Bunny420 0
It's a bit more like F His Life for bad timing lol.
musicislife_fml 0
Wow... Ish. I would've just been like "**** it, get off" [no pun intended], pushed him away, then leave the room.