Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time in our relationship and it was great. He drove me back to my house and walked me to the door, then instead of kissing me goodbye he patted me on the back. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of a month and I had sex for the first time. We started in the shower and then moved to his bedroom. He then feel asleep when I was on top. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for a second time. When I was getting dressed afterwards with him sitting next to me, there was a silence. To break it, he grabbed my hand and fistbumped me. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It was also the first time he'd ever had sex. How could I tell? He cried all the way through, and called his parents right after. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I started stroking the back of his neck with both of my hands. He told me, "Your hands are nice and smooth like my grandmother's." FML
Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, I walked to my boyfriend's house, which takes literally 2 minutes since we are also neighbours. He wanted sex straight away. The walk took longer than the sex, by over a full minute. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
You had bad breath? ;)
render 0
Wow lmao, that must feel terrible. (Hey, I remember I checked "Yes" to this FML while moderating!)
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Comments (115)
MrRecon72 0
Tell your boyfriend he is a pimp.
trecool999 0
He's probably like... "Aw shit, did I really just do that? Now she's gonna post it on fmylife.com because she thinks it's that important..." Also in reply to #67, yeah I agree. For me, "I love you" just doesn't cut it, but one extra x on that "bye xx" makes all the difference to me. =P
Ixnay 0
thats probably because you just got done SUCKING HIS ****.
golfcrzy 0
just remember that the next time he asks for any. guys will do what ever you want if they want it bad enough. have fun!!!!
leelagirl 0
Oh my god! I had a boyfriend that sortof did something like that but it wasnt near to that extent We had been dating for a couple of weeks, and he walked up to me and I was expecting to get a kiss or something right? Wrong he pats my back and tells me he's going to go get some water!
Serefan 0
*pats on the back* There there.
Silver_Fox 0
What is he, your dad?
ZWolfeh 0
YDI for expecting a kiss when both of your mouths were probably on each others genitals. And you also deserve it for expecting a kiss anyway.
Tom815Cat 0
This sounds like something I would do. If he just got done having sex he's probably tired, and not in the mood for more sex. He's not a machine. I think a pat on the back is a caring gesture: like "you did good, now take it easy and we'll hit it again tomorrow".
buckweat420 0
Protip: Don't suck your BFs dick then try to kiss him later. It may have been hot for him to give you a kiss with his **** juice on your lips while you were *******, but after the boner wares off its not quite as good.