Today, a tarantula joined my stuffed animal collection in its drawer. It, unfortunately, wasn't stuffed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought me a pet tarantula. I now have one of my biggest fears crawling around my house. FML
Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, knowing that I have severe arachnophobia, my brother brought over his friend's tarantula. One hour later, the spider got loose. It's been 5 hours and I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML
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Top comments
A07 48
That's it then, there's no other way, you'll just have to burn the house down now.
kitty54321 18
You didn't find out by trying to cuddle it did you!???!? Uggggggghh.
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Comments (59)
LoZelda123 20
Burn everything! including the house...
confused_wandere 26
Better burn the street too, just to be sure.
kitty54321 18
You didn't find out by trying to cuddle it did you!???!? Uggggggghh.
okokalright 15
**** that tarantula's life.. There's no way you could've known OP
LilMissCanadian 22
Dang! Are you okay? FYL and clean out that drawer!
mattzawesome 28
No, clearly she's on life support in the trauma unit.
LilMissCanadian 22
Never asked for your sarcasm. I don't know if she fell backwards or not, excuse me for asking if she was alright. People these days.
Levvy 22
What outcome were you expecting, exactly? For the OP to have spontaneously exploded?
buckstop1 37
Levvy, did you forget how to read? #4 clearly just explained what she meant.
LilMissCanadian 22
Much hate for no reason. -.-
corky1992 33
I have arachnophobia and I understand her concern. Some people just go in full panic mode when it comes to spiders and could accidentally get hurt. I'm sure they're fine since they posted on FML but no need to be rude for her showing some concern.
faeryofshalott 25
I wouldn't blame her if she was on life support now. This would be enough to traumatize anyone. It at least rates a heart attack.
Zgamerz 11
Hahaha
Levvy 22
I was to referring when the question was asked, not when it was retroactively justified.
BlackFames 16
If that happened to me I'd probably burn my house down. Nope. So much nope. **** that.
milkman18 16
Mr. Tarantula just wants to be loved.
buckstop1 37
That's a hairy situation, OP.
A07 48
That's it then, there's no other way, you'll just have to burn the house down now.
mattzawesome 28
How original.
A07 48
No shit Sherlock
SOILEDIT 51
Well, you see, there's a very logical way to solve this issue. You very, very carefully, burn the house down.
olpally 33
I'm jumping on the train to Nopefuckthatville... :P