Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Word of advice: don't make those kinds of jokes around little kids. They won't understand!
AgeOfAquariusss 7
Haha kids can really twist your words :D
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Comments (87)
AgeOfAquariusss 7
Haha kids can really twist your words :D
Bosia 0
What do the little daycare girls have on their chest to grope?
meowmeowwkitty 0
this is why I don't work with kids
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
That is a good point there, 43. Maybe he was trying to find where the nipples are? For example, he found out that milk comes out from mom and since mom = girl in his mind, maybe he decided to investigate if all girls have milk?
topbanana 0
what the hell kind of day care is this?
DahkLohd 4
Word of advice: don't make those kinds of jokes around little kids. They won't understand!
GeraldisTheG 3
voldemort always provides the best advice
sweet_candy_ 17
lol smart kid.
drew0001 0
very smart
samadams42 0
genious!!
Perksofbeingawal 0
Genius* :P I don't correct you to be rude or seem superior, I just want you to spell it correctly in the future. = )
LifeSucksbtw 0
finally some one who isn't a bitch about spelling errors. :D
Perksofbeingawal 0
Ah thanks! Kinda' made my day :D I'd never be rude about it, I make spelling errors too sometimes. :(
denbeste 3
#31 is a bitch. Ruined my day.
Anfarwal 10
"It's "kind of". Not that I'm being nice about it, I just hate idiots who pervert my language and have the audacity *TO* correct others." Have a nice day now.
samadams42 0
to correct others. ;)
Perksofbeingawal 0
Hey uh, "justalilrandom", I'm pretty sure I know how to say it properly, haha. You're making yourself look like a complete idiot, loool. :) Oh and by the way, "audacity correct others" doesn't make sense. Nice try though ;) retard.
Snowlight_fml 7
I see neither the words 'joke' nor 'troll' register in people's minds...
UTTU 0
Tonight on "To Catch a Predator"
10_4Franky 0
To Catch a Predator: Daycare Hook-Ups
moosemonkey1000 6
that kid sounds like somone you can't trust so the teachers probably know he lies a lot.
andiles 0
second don't kill me
minktheshrink 0
If the child is that young you shouldn't joke about it! Ydi
Asario 0
sounds like an aprentice of mine.
EmoLittleBish 0
WOW..... O_o
InnocentLies 0
Wow?! Look at his pic he's pedobear. :p
ThoraxeTheImpale_fml 0
that's not a pedobear, that's the Sexual Harassment Panda!
Asario 0
you make fun of my picture when yours are 2 anorexic emos, a asian prostitue (who btw id like to purchase), and a veterianary doctor who ****** up one of his mutations! way to go!
mrahhhhh 21
Sigmund Freud would be proud.
whisperingeye13 0
nice psychology reference. props for knowledge
cradle6 13
He probably wasn't breast fed for long enough (if taking a Freudian viewpoint). But all the Freud unconscious stuff is supposed to come into play a looooot later in life.
muchagente 5
well, in fact you did.