Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
Today, I finally found someone who liked me and wanted to kiss me. It was a 5-year-old at the daycare I work at. FML
Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML
Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML
Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
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Top comments
Chloe555_fml 27
At least he does not discriminate.
inesbcr 13
He is a serial kisser
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Comments (74)
hank0311 10
Dam animal, lol who cares he is a little boy. At least he is not bashing them over the head with toys and freaking out when you drop him off. I think being a kind hearted little man is the least of there worries. Tell them to worry about the kids in the corner by them self eating the crayons for **** sake.
Andrewea 2
Yes, he's a boy, so he might as well learn now that he can get away with anything he wants, and if anyone gets mad he can just remind them that he wasn't doing something much worse.
MidnaLink 35
He's 4. Honestly, some people make such a big deal about the innocent, minor things a child will do.
itsyourownfault 6
He clearly has alot of love to give. nothing wrong with that, this shouldn't be viewed as a fml it should be my little boy is adorable and a bit of a smartass
sugarbaby9908 20
He did listen. He didn't kiss anymore girls.....
corky1992 33
At least he listened! Lol. Kind of ridiculous that they made you come get him. it was just for the day right? I sure hope they wouldn't ban him for that.
truckers_wife 23
my friends' daughter is three and is learning that she needs to keep her clothes on all the time. when we went over there the mom said this like "you can't be naked, Jason [my husband] is here and boys can't see you naked". she took that as, "when Jason goes outside to smoke you can take your clothes off in front of the girls". moral of the story: kids should be told not to do inappropriate to anyone, don't be gender specific.
DA3Z 16
Sounds like a happy child just trying to be friendly to me.
LilMissCanadian 22
Ladies man aren't we? FYL OP.
XBurytheCastleX 25
So, he got kicked out for kissing boys? Find a new daycare. Sounds like you have a young bisexual.
ahomelessmario 9
Or he can't tell gender difference you dumb twat
wickedhyype 17
Lol toddler smart as hell. He found a loophole in the rules. Lmao "well if i cant kiss girls..."