Today, I asked my 2 year old son to clean up his toys. When I bent down to give him a good job kiss afterwards, he punched me in the nose. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 2-year-old son put his hand on my face, gave me a sweet kiss, and put his cheek against mine. Then he slapped me hard enough to leave a mark, laughed, and scrambled away. FML
Today, when I called my 2-year-old son over for a hug, he giggled and squealed as he ran over to me. He then stopped in front of me, punched me in the bollocks, and walked away quite happily whilst I was doubled over in pain. FML
Today, my two year-old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML
Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML
Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year-old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML
Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML
Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML
Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
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Top comments
rogueangel9 4
and let me guess, he got a time out instead of the ass beating he should've gotten.
awardZu 0
If a kid is old enough to throw a punch, they are old enough to get a spanking. It's not abuse (because some of you bleeding heart ******* will say it is, and YOU are what's wrong with kids these days), it's dicipline. You just have to draw the line between spanking & beating, and never cross it.
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Comments (233)
Youresofake 0
first
tulsafml 0
you're so fake
Miss_Michaela 10
I know right. But, I bet you he feels so proud of himself. Do you want a Gold Star?
yankee805 0
dick
Miss_Michaela 10
I'm just waiting for someone to say 'This wouldn't have happened if she'd stayed in the kitchen where she's supposed to be'. :P P.S I'm a woman. I find the kitchen joke funny. =D I'm gonna go make me a sandwich..
im_wilder 0
1, I HOPE THE MOD HAMMER GOES SO DEEP IN YOUR ANAL YOU WONT BE ABLE TO TYPE AGAIN! just saying
xXDubbleChic 11
39 u made me lol
buzz18 7
ouch
im_wilder 0
why hasnt he been modded yet! and kartilino i didnt understand what you just said, must be caveman dialect...
Sathian 0
Im_wilder are you retarded? it's obvious what he is saying...
im_wilder 0
i take that back kartilino my mistake you have the official rights to SHUN me..
BWill9014 4
Your place is the kitchen... do us men go out of place and clean and do your laundry? no... we sit on the couch and drink beer like were supposed to do... the punch to the face was a warning but next time your son won't hold back... *this is for whoever wanted a kitchen joke xD*
AceArctic 4
The kid is 2, it can't hurt that bad. is that really such a hard concept?
mintcar 10
66, I think the FML here is that the kid punched her. It was very disrespectful for him to have done so.
jamjelly386 5
31 for once a woman that can take a joke! thank you!
AceArctic 4
I'm explaining to the guy who complains about caveman language, I know what the fml is about.
Mr_Questions 0
This wouldn't have happened if she'd stay in the kitchen where she supposed to be!
mintcar 10
Well then, that is very nice to know.
Codezlol 21
My 2 year old nephew packs a hard punch, he has hit me in the nose before. It didn't hurt but it was annoying as hell.
tona01 16
aceartic great pic dude/dudette the movie and the music was great
Nebuwah 8
Lol. You got owned.
im_wilder 0
i see a roy jones jr in the making,, he beat her with a left hook YA'LL MUST OF FORGOT (8)
MyNameIsBruce 0
Like a BOSS
ripgeorgecarl1n 7
I agree. She probably wasn't being as sweet as she made it seem. She probably forced him to clean his room when he didn't want to. This isn't really an FML, it's just parenting. OP needs to just get used to it.
awardZu 0
138, It is parenting. Making your kids do the shit they need to, even if they don't want to. Why the hell should OP get used to getting punched in the nose for making her kid do his chores? Think things out before you put your foot in your mouth again.
RiskiBusiness 1
#71 win!
RiskiBusiness 1
#71 win!
countryboyj17 0
dangit 71 u beat me to it! lol
maxxacre 5
It's obviously because you weren't in the kitchen.
Every1luvsfmls 6
I see a chuck norris jr
tesuan 0
Wow, there've been a lot of FMLs about kids messin' stuff up lately.
mason_n97 0
lol ya
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
I love your picture! So cute!! =^_^=
Gondile 4
Yeah Master Chief is totally cute and adorable.
MissBunny25 0
master chief is sexy.
Mr_Questions 0
what about my picture?!?! :((
MissBunny25 0
it's sexy
C6Racer 0
Mine rules all.
wisericky 12
i like your picture too #3. :)
Randall777858 0
miss bunny is sexy
trey9991 0
agree with 137!
OMG_N3RD 0
Yeah lol
RavenRiley007 4
lol so true!
pipp360 0
yea that's what kids do. condoms and abortions ftw
SchiTzenGiglez 0
that cat is soo effin adorable!!!
WOGBRO 6
KO
justnbieber 0
hahahha
silvic84 0
you punch him back right?
Shootamonkey3 0
Get back in the kitchen!
Garay 0
Go to hell with all other kid-singers.
rogueangel9 4
and let me guess, he got a time out instead of the ass beating he should've gotten.
Nebuwah 8
Its a ******* 2 year-old. You'd really beat a 2 year-old for that? Probably doesn't know what the **** was going on.
tulsafml 0
he deserved to get his ass beaten. don't argue with the facts^.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
italiantechno20 0
for rl tht kid needs to learn a lesson
PrincessesCrown 17
They should get a beating when they're five, when they're 2 they don't know what they are doing. you don't hit a 2 year old they get timeouts!
tulsafml 0
yes you do
awardZu 0
If a kid is old enough to throw a punch, they are old enough to get a spanking. It's not abuse (because some of you bleeding heart ******* will say it is, and YOU are what's wrong with kids these days), it's dicipline. You just have to draw the line between spanking & beating, and never cross it.
sleepydeath 4
you beat a kid when they do something unnecessary this us one of them doesn't matter what age
JenL_fml 7
I think the kid is pretty conscious of his deeds, whether he would remember or not later on. He knows how to ball his hand into a fist and use force to punch someone with it. He needs to beat. Not abused now. Just a smack the hand.
Amaxwell 0
Thats good. hit a kid to show them that hitting is wrong. Apparently your an idiot.
MissBunny25 0
61, trust me, at age 2 kids know whats wrong and what's right most of the time. punch mommy in the face? they know it's wrong, they aren't that stupid. a little pop on the behind would do them some good.
Mr_Questions 0
yeah hit your kid back!! it says in the bible that you should hit your kid for doing something bad!!
MissBunny25 0
it says you should punish them if they dishonor/disobey their parents. I don't disagree with that. I don't think kids learn their lesson by time outs or grounding. that's just me. however, let's not all get into a religious/parental debate.
mismonroe 0
110- YOU'RE an idiot as well.
browntiga 0
think about it this way. he must have learned how to punch somewhere and seeing as the child's community should mostly consist of his parents it is most likely from them that he learned to be violent. also they obviously don't beat their children because otherwise the child would never have punched his mother because he would be scared of getting his ass whooped.
tulsafml 0
don't just spank him. beat him
ChibiChibi_fml 28
These days, in America, using a belt on a child ends with DCFS being called. It is pretty much a guarantee if your child talks to other people or once they learn how to use the phone. This wasn't supposed to respond here. I really don't know why it did since I double checked the number I was responding to. It was supposed to be a response to the person saying there was a difference between a belt and child abuse.
TehFMLKing 0
All children must be beaten with sticks, it's the only way!
sarapsosis 1
135- damn for a cute little puppy you sure are one harsh ************
awardZu 0
130, Have you thought that it is very possible that the kid watches TV every now and then? Seeing people get punched in the face isn't exactly a rare event when you have violence in movies, & sex on TV.
Petertheman 0
your right
atomicbaboon 0
130. you don't have to learn how to punch in order to punch someone. if people are mad, even children, their instinct is to hit if they can't release their anger in other ways. it's natural. what's up with all you people that blame all behavioral problems that children have on their parents? most of the time, children behave on instinct, and that's not something you can teach.
JenL_fml 7
@167 Loving the Family Guy reference. But yes, you have a point. He could have picked it up from television and that's why his parents should sit him down and talk to him about it or discipline him. Never too early to start.
levraea 0
Yo 122. Don't be an ass, kay?
mismonroe 0
No, not "Kay". :)
idkwhat2sayfyl 4
Did you quote that last part from family guy
Prolux_fml 23
No, 230; he found that quote in a BBC documentary. Obviously...
aidenmccarthy03 8
That's ******* child abuse
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
That'll teach you to ask me to clean up mommy >:[
Viciousvixen_21 0
lol love that band :)
nightmare33 0
Omgg I love M. Shadows hes hot
tulsafml 0
did you punch him back?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Yes, because that would have been the logical thing to do XD
F14Shado 0
it would've been.
kocoman500 2
LOL 2 yr old WIN!!! :)
adrianm413 0
beat the piss out of him or you deserve it.
lidemocr 0
are you a parent? If not I hope you never are jackass
trey9991 0
um someone^^^ is a dumbass of course there is nothing wrong with "beating him" a figure of speech.
nerdchic 5
I'm not a parent but I am the oldest of 6.. I would have wore his ass out with a paddle if he hit me.. and yeah.. little kids can hit pretty damn hard!
Richard16 0
i modded this :)
Quasar55_fml 18
who cares.
Richard16 0
it wouldnt be here if i wasnt one of the people who modded it smart ass
illmatic2 16
I'm pretty sure it would have. Hundreds of people moderate every FML. So your one vote probably didn't make a huge difference.
valri3 0
Ummm who gives a damn? I've modded FMLs here to, but you don't see me posting "I modded this." Do you want a cookie?
BWill9014 4
Oatmeal raisin for me val *smirk*
QueenOfBoredom 0
eww I hate those kind (just saying)
MissBunny25 0
momma bunny likes chocolate chip. hell yeah, bitches!
TheWorldGreatest 8
where's my cookie?
MissBunny25 0
up boners' ass