Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Whaaaaat?
Today, my 18 year-old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML
Sex ed is broken
Today, I went with my son to a conference about sexual education at his high school. I guess it was all too late, because among the attendees I saw three girls from the same high school who were already pregnant. They aren't even 18. FML
Because of him
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Paternity test
Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML
Wrap it up
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Bad grandparenting
Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML
Today, I took my transfer student, who I am hosting for her year of study in America, to the doctor. It turns out that she is pregnant, and my teenage son is the father. FML
Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Good news
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML
Top comments
lilhellian 27
And he thought he was the father how?
B00M3R_S00N3R 11
Why do parents expect the school to do everything for them? It's not their job to teach your child about sex so YDI
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Comments (177)
Obey_StudBoii 23
You should have given him the sex talk along time ago. It's your responsibility as a parent to explain. Can't rely on the school.
Kristolinis 3
That's what you get for not letting your son watch ****, OP.
Obey_StudBoii 23
I have to agree with this lol.
capnbzarr 43
Dude, that was your ******* job (pun intended) in the first place. You're damned lucky he's still a virgin; otherwise you'd probably be a grandpa and he'd have HIV.
patacus 14
he's 19, and has a girlfriend, and neither his parents nor his school has discussed sex with him at all?
skatoolaki 24
When you think about it, it certainly explains why this country has such a staggeringly high teen pregnancy rate.
milmac 9
You mean, you had to give him the sex talk that YOU never did. That's YOUR responsibility, "Dad", not the school's. You're *both* idiots.
obviousboy 8
Wait… you're supposed to be the one that has the sex talk with your kids, not the school. The school is supposed to supplement your discussion.
vanaathiel 13
"that his school never did", ya that's your job there dad.
jem970 19
I must not say anything, I must not say anything, I must not say anything. I must not give my opinion on this extremely sensitive subject!
limitedition 25
That's really sad that he has a tramp for a gg and he has no clue about sex at all. You are his mother, you better educate this boy quick
limitedition 25
* gf
A7XCamaro 19
*father
Sir_Swaggington 6
You never gave your son the sex talk? You idiot. You can't count on the schools for that because you don't know how they're teaching it. He probably had some preachy, abstinence only, sex ed that left him uninformed. OR he's lying about being a virgin and his penis is liable to fall off at any given moment.