Today, my boyfriend and I went to a sex store for the first time, and bought $100 worth of stuff. Not only did we not have sex, but I was up all night throwing up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. Right after, he left the room and went to the bathroom to throw up. FML
Today, after being severely depressed for a week, I was having sex with my boyfriend when got so anxious that I threw up. FML
Today, I threw up during sex. FML
Today, I had just gotten over the flu and thought I was better. So me and my boyfriend decided to have sex. As I was about to orgasm, I puked all over his face. He was so disgusted that he ended up throwing up on me as well. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were both at home, sick. We decided to make the best of it and spent the day in bed together. Things got a little steamy, and we started making out. As I started kissing her neck, I got nauseous. Before I could pull away, I threw up all over her. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, per my boyfriend's request, I bought some lingerie. He got so excited when he saw me, he ripped it off me right away. After we were done he used it to clean up. I essentially bought a $40 cum rag. FML
Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I spent 100 dollars on lingerie. I put it on, walked out to the living room, and told my boyfriend to follow me into the bedroom. He said no, then pretended to fall asleep. FML
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Top comments
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Pro Tip: Second-hand butt plugs are not for the mouth.
Chazzster 32
So much unsaid! Were you physically ill as from a flu or food poisoning or so sexually constipated that the idea of sex toys made you ill?
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Comments (6)
newbiemalestr8 27
Wtf???
Nikki 17
They were probably sick?
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
Pro Tip: Second-hand butt plugs are not for the mouth.
RichardPencil 32
You can't un-see your boyfriend doing squat thrusts on a giant *****. You probably need treatment for PTSD.
Chazzster 32
So much unsaid! Were you physically ill as from a flu or food poisoning or so sexually constipated that the idea of sex toys made you ill?
JackWood 21
Even if it says edible sex gel I wouldn't eat it. lol
Taurus_ChicKa 37
That's okay, just have your fun on a different night. Your health is more important.