Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Public freakout
Today, a customer at work became violent and started hitting me and my coworker. Not wanting him to get the shit beat out of us, I used a move that pinned the guy on the ground. The police came and he was arrested. I was then fired for assaulting a customer. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I caught a customer taking pictures up my skirt, and my boss fired me for calling the police and "making a big deal out of it". FML
Tactical
Today, I got fired from work. Why? I finally took a stand for myself and confronted my coworker of writing things up in my name for herself, and it getting deducted from my check. So she went to the manager and accused me of sexual harassment. FML
Today, I was not yet wearing my bouncer uniform when a fight broke out at a club. I intervened, only to have the cops who showed up tase me because they thought I was part of it. FML
Today, I got fired from my volunteer job. FML
Today, I was escorted out of the building for getting in a scuffle at my anger management class. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FML
Appropriate force
Today, I'm recovering from being pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and Tased, and arrested for assault. I'm a bouncer and was trying to remove a drunk asshole from the bar when the police showed up. FML
Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML
HOW CAN SHE SLAP?
Today, my boss fired me. I still can't really explain where the slap I gave him for it came from, though. FML
Top comments
newbiehere99 6
Damn what better job is there than a strip club ... You get to see boobies ...
ALlamaOnFire 20
Don't worry, there are better jobs out there for you:)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
ALlamaOnFire 20
Don't worry, there are better jobs out there for you:)
zachherbert 10
I hear there are job openings in the super hero field of work.
zachherbert 10
Be a super hero. Bitches love super heroes.
raw_tigahh 2
Your picture + your comment are perfect matches lmao
tjv3 10
Well you forgot the simple rules "Be nice" and "Be nice" until it's time not to be nice. Gosh man didn't they make you watch Roadhouse in the orientation ??
tjv3 10
I think OP is leaving something out. I'm wondering if maybe they have warned him before or if he left out the word "Extreme"
Kielnmsoftly 26
I didn't know Chris Brown was hiring.
newbiehere99 6
Damn what better job is there than a strip club ... You get to see boobies ...
ALlamaOnFire 20
You can see boobies anywhere. Just type it in on google;)
dude1122332 9
I'm not allowed there anymore..
jackassiddy 8
Well sir your resume looks great. However, I must warn you its a shady working environment, the hours suck as does the pay.. but you get to see boobies! OP- ******* A I'll take it! ...is probably what didn't happen.
Harpy20 24
Then go to the free **** sites. Get smart dude. As much as it sucks, use Bing.
dude1122332 9
Let's just say I'm not allowed on any site that involves ****, women, and whales.
zachherbert 10
Draw stick boobies. Then you can play with em :)
derkster 6
Big ass tatas
amanda_say_whutt 9
Unless its a strip club like Magic Mike !
MindFreakazoid 10
37- "Oh how I love these circles on this stick woman's chest...seeeexy..." that sounds kinda like my brother :3
axelrave 3
At the same time too?
False_Stupidity 42
The problem is, he was a bouncer at a strip club, therefore there were no boobies for OP and now no job either.
Needafarm 22
Buy one of those fake women companions. Only about 6 thousand US dollars. :-p
iCake 13
How is that even possible
zachherbert 10
I want to know what he said to be moderated :(
Pentium_4 27
it was just a really idiotic comment. don't worry, there's plenty more where that came from here on FML ;)
marisadc79 0
You were doing your job hello I'd report the place FYL
zachherbert 10
Are you trying to say hello to me in the middle of your comment?
louiseth 9
If he got fired he obviously wasn't doing his job very well. I see so many bouncers who try to start fights even when it's completely unnecessary, and these bouncers rarely know when to stop. People can get seriously injured sometimes. OP, I can't possibly believe that you got fired for just pushing someone away in self defense or something minor like that, and I'm so incredibly sick of bouncers who think they're the god damn FBI.
You_Screwed_Up 7
I agree with 43. Bouncers are there for security, not to throw their weight around and use violence. People like OP are what give bouncers bad names.
pohtaytoh 0
Maybe OP was actually doing his job correctly and his boss didn't know bouncers are there for security, maybe he thought bouncers are just doormen. We don't know for sure without more info from OP.
doctorhook86 25
70: If we accept your premise, then the OP's former boss is an idiot. It's possible, but it's probably not the most likely explanation.
YourEvilHero 12
did you scare the strippers?
zachherbert 10
Scared them straight out of there clothes.
fml121785 14
Their clothes*** Jackass!
dude1122332 9
How do you know my child hood nick name?!
doctorhook86 25
28: The way you capitalized Jackass made me think you were trying to make a Johnny Knoxville reference. But you failed at that too...
unknown_user5566 27
28- Make the correction and move along, like the rest of us do. No need to be an asshole about it.
rekege 18
I don't get why they didn't just take you to the side and tell you that you've used too much violence/intimidation, instead of firing you. It's not like you couldn't have toned it down..? FYL
xStaciexLynnx 15
Maybe they already did.
TriflingAllDay 6
I don't get why you continue to comment. :)
jackassiddy 8
Well I guess they're just not too many job options out there in need of high school bully skills.
dude1122332 9
Maybe he was bullied and wanted to get back at the people so he got buff and hopes one day they come and he does not let them in. Justice..
itsalanis 25
Is there any common sense left in the world? Oh well...
zachherbert 10
The results are in.... And the results are... No, there is no common sense left in this world.
maz255 10
More than what youve done so hush! 'Cause remember! Ill rape ya! ;D
TriflingAllDay 6
Actually they have been somewhat clever. Also, I like how patrick is appalled by your accusations.
unknown_user5566 27
48- He's not spamming. He's commenting. Spamming would entail posting nonsensical comments repeatedly and/or trolling. Just because he gets thumbed up more than you do, doesn't mean you need to try and insult him. Thumb him down and move on if he annoys you that badly. I'm stepping off my soap-box now... ;)
monagro 22
Well, you're not actually supposed to hit them...
fordman22 0
Beeeeewwwwbs!