Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, was my sister's and dad's birthday. I accidentally mixed up the gifts I got for them and my dad ended up with a vibrator. He wasn't very happy. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, as a birthday present, my friends threw a surprise party for me. I was so surprised, I pissed myself in front of everyone, including my crush. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, my friends threw me a surprise birthday party. I was genuinely surprised—and also genuinely hungover from celebrating my birthday alone the night before because they'd all told me they were busy. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I was going over to my friend's house for dinner. When I walked in, everyone yelled, "Surprise!" and then turned on the lights. When my friend looked over at me, she said, "Wrong person guys, turn off the lights." FML
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Top comments
nickinak2010 4
they were right, it is funny.
capnbzarr 43
Yes, they were right; that's hilarious. For my friend's 18th birthday, I gave him porno. His mom thought it was a lot funnier than he did.
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Comments (122)
meintx 9
You should have just said " oh, wow, thanks mom. It's just like yours, only smaller." ;)
bombasticolo 2
you should havr told your mom "i know dad doesn't satisfy you enough, but you didnt have to get me one."
ben_d0ver 0
Shudda told them u wanted to play with the new toy right away, and ran off
Kitten16 0
Well...Some1 is difficult 2 please!
QueenOfBoredom 0
ha i love you simply for sAying that lmao
prettypinkpixie 9
You should have said thank you, and promptly left the room with your new gift, leaving your parents to feel awkward with your friends rather than you.
prince122 0
dude my mom would kill me
dansco 25
You'll only get gentle ribbing for this...
samneville 1
how big was it
yahman123 0
you should've showed everyone there how it works ;)