Today, my boyfriend bought me a vibrator for my birthday. Sounds sweet, right? Then he invited my 10/14-year-old cousins to our house. They surprised me in my room. While I was using it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, It was my birthday and my friends came to celebrate it. My parents thought it would be funny to give me a vibrator in front of everybody. FML
Today, I celebrated my 21st birthday. My boyfriend of almost 3 years gave me a big pink vibrator. Thinking it was a joke I said: "I won't need this as long as I have you!" His reply: "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I realized that the vibrator we bought got sent to his parents house. He picked it up from them, brought it home, and we discovered that they had already opened the package. They even tried to hide the evidence by re-taping it. FML
Today, my boyfriend's friends were throwing him a surprise birthday party. I thought it'd be funny to get him some fuzzy handcuffs and a box of condoms as a gift. They never told me they invited his parents. FML
Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend talked me into wearing vibrating underwear in public and of course we bumped into my mom shopping, and of course he chose that moment to turn them on with the remote. The vibrating was way louder than we were expecting, and my mom just walked away shaking her head at us. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
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Top comments
Alup132 22
What a buzzkill!
pinilicious 19
The good vibes were killed.
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Comments (16)
Alup132 22
What a buzzkill!
BEEEEES 15
Wonderful
pinilicious 19
The good vibes were killed.
a1f0sff 25
You couldn't wait until you went to bed?
julfunky 29
... why should she wait until she goes to bed?
RichardPencil 32
10/14 years old? What an odd way to express infant’s ages!
pscool 11
FYI he was probably planning on getting to use it with you for the first go around later on. But I guess it was too enticing to wait!
Dave_Davington 34
What better time to teach them all about the joys of mechanically assisted self diddling?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why those cousins specifically? Are you close to them than you are to others? Because that's now been ruined.
JulietMarie 30
Why wasn’t your door locked? At least then they wouldn’t have caught you in the act
raven_of_azarath 35
Why should you have to lock the door in your own house?
julfunky 29
Let me guess, then Father O’Flannagan walked in?
EmDizzle2007 28
the ungodly amount of desperate pun comments...