Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, my friend spent the night. I now know that she masturbates in her sleep. FML
Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I woke up in bed with no pillows. I think the guy I slept with stole them. FML
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Today, I realized that I'm a sleepwalker and for the past week, that dream where I was giving my roommate a blowjob was real. He just pretended it never happened. FML
Today, I came home to find out my roommate had sex in my bed, because he didn't want his date to know he has a smaller bed. FML
Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML
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Top comments
Bobby64 29
People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.
iburppeopleup 0
just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!
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Comments (76)
Bobby64 29
People on FML sure have great friends and roommates. :/ Yuck.
Bobissmall 13
Ha, yeah i noticed this too. And yuck doesn't cover it, i almost gagged, which is strange for an FML!
iNekoGamergurl 0
ohemgee, is ur pic that one dude from Card Captor Sakura? i watched it when i was like 12 .... idk... i forgot his name .__.
nibbles101 0
urs are all idiots, cum drys clear and then falls of in Tiny little flakes, it does not leave marks
elainelovesyou 7
And you know this because.. ? xD
Bobby64 29
@#13: Yes, that's where my pic comes from. His name's Kero. :)
honeybunches88 5
nibbles has clearly never had sex before.
lolitaababy 0
ahahahahahaha!
roeallen 11
Why did she have sex on your bed? Get a lock.
Doortje 30
The way I read it the roommate just borrowed her pillow, but had sex in her own bed. Also, a lock won't do any good if they're sharing a room.
UpsidedownKayak 9
I misread that too, thanks for pointing that out, Doortje.
insanesna1l 0
at least she has good posture. These things are important
T1A2Z3 35
They're ROOMMATES she can't lock her out of her own room
icedawgz 0
I'd lick it up
iBoardSlide 0
no you wouldn't
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
3 - If you did lick it up and get AIDS, I would salute you.
iburppeopleup 0
just do the same to her, or pull another awful thing like mix bleach in her shampoo, fill her body wash or shampoo with nair... get revenge bitch!
Guesswhosthabest 0
haha ima do da nair to my friend!!(:
Witchcraft_fml 5
Is it so difficult to spell out "the"?
Classic_PWN 1
I'm going to stay away from you now...
UpsidedownKayak 9
That's ****** up that she is ******* on your bed. What is wrong with her bed? This is why you can't have nice things around other people.
FMLephant 2
How did you find out? Did you do the scratch and sniff test?
Sweetie2u 1
Win
Phoebe_Buffay 14
Gee, I sure wish there was a button in which you could express whether or not you liked someones comment.
pizzle012345 0
If someone had sex on my bed.... I would cut off theirs head
claireful 4
theirs?
TheRealLori 0
Here's a thought...wash your pillow cases once in a while! YDI for not knowing, and obviously being used to not caring. GROSS.
BigBagel 0
ydi for not joining in for a threesome
DKjazz 20
shampoo + nair = one of the most awful things you can do to a person