Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went all the way for the first time with my girlfriend. After I had finished, she asked me, "What just happened? Was that sex?" I wasn't sure either. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
Today, my girlfriend asked me, "Is it in yet?" FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
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Top comments
ollie179 21
Yeah, I hate it when a penis grows out of your ****** too, it causes so much confusion.
Kal3Y 12
Thailand problems
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Comments (130)
Enslaved 38
This is why doing the-- helicopter before heading to her landing strip could count as visual foreplay!
perdix 31
#35, I don't think him rotating his nubbin will help his case.
Enslaved 38
I beg to differ. Even miniature fans can cool one off! :P
perdix 31
#48, to each her own, I guess. It's not like I've been laughed off stage at Amateur Night at La Bare's. . .
Enslaved 38
I have friends that work at La Bare's. and co-workers that drag me there. Most stuff their briefs. (And many are gay.) :P
perdix 31
#53, that reminds me of a joke: A lonely guy asks his friend who is very successful with the ladies for some advice. He said, "When I go to the beach, I put a potato in my Speedos" and winked. At the end of the next day, the two get together and the lonely guy is more dejected than ever. The friend asked, "How did it go? Did you take my advice?" The guy said, "Yeah, but the ladies actually seemed to be laughing at me." The friend said, "You're supposed to put the potato in the front!"
LoveLamp 13
Should have donkey punched her.
zandalee 20
And that was your mega first comment? Donkey punch her? For the love of God, go home you are drunk.
LoveLamp 13
Lol I didn't expect it to be "mega". Just figured I'd give some input. However, it's not any worse than "go home you are drunk" which is constantly over used about everything.
hoffmanam 13
well, are you sure
Dwarfie 6
WTF?!?
TheCamoWulf 17
It's just your girlfriend being a bitch
Crabtree1015 12
This could either be taken as a compliment...
gracehi 33
Or... Or... OR??? DAMN you! Why must you leave us in suspense!
iChompYa 18
Hinting you didnt know how to use the equipment
alexafml 5
**** her life, she's the one getting f'D by someone who is so unsatisfying she had to actually make a mean comment during sex. If sex is good, you can't think about anything but the feeling and the moment. Only when it sucks do you do grocery and budget lists in your head, or make random comments.
docscientist 10
You're a treat...
exo_went_insane 12
Take your penis out and slap her across the face with it.. if it's big enough, that is
Sakura13_fml 11
To be honest, I read it as dirty talk the first time. "Show me then", that idea, trying to get you a bit upset to go harder at it or something. But I assume OP wouldn't have posted if she'd said it with that intonation so FYL and find a respectful girl.