Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
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Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Hi there
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML
Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML
Dirty talk
Today, I was having some kinky sex with my girlfriend. When I said "You've been a bad girl", she looked at me wide-eyed and asked very seriously, "What did I do?" FML
U wot m8?
Today, my now ex-boyfriend said to me, “Who’s your daddy?” during the deed and it was so off-putting, I said my dad's actual name. FML
Get on with it
Today, while I was having sex with my girlfriend, she suddenly said : "Are you going to be done any time soon?" FML
Parental advice
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Sex talk
Today, I was having sex with an ex when he whispered in my ear, "Who's my baby?" I, being very bad at dirty talk, said, "You." FML
Today, I was having sex with the guy I've been in love with for years. I moaned, "say my name." He didn't know it. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she didn't know we were actually dating. FML
Top comments
michael_wells831 16
I never have a girl call me daddy it's just weird and a turn off like I'm not trying to role play incest haha
sarah2144 14
Saying who's your daddy during sex is creepy as ****.
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Comments (115)
Micah_Nobot 10
Sexy talk can turn to awkward talk real quick ..
biebahood 15
that moment of quick escalation...
sophiehelen 32
Sexy talk? Asking who's your daddy is not sexy, it's very weird lol
xleanne_aLly 23
Exactly. If a guy ever said that to me I would yell back, "WHO'S YO MOMMA?" And if he didn't get the hint, thinking it'd be me. I would tell him he's a dumb ass and spell it out for him.
jenninator93 18
Calling someone "daddy" in bed isn't all that weird. I mean, it's a fetish thing, and a pretty tame one at that if you've ever looked into different fetishes. It ties into the dominant/submissive fetish. Some doms like to be called daddy, and might refer to their subs with pet names as well (****, baby, fucktoy etc) Different strokes for different folks :)
incoherentrmblr 22
There's your sign...
littleteapot 21
But that's definitely something you should discuss beforehand. Especially if you're planning on having a dom/sub relationship.
MrsDruidess 23
Thats not sexy talk, thats icky! It's also not some dom/sub thing, its just icky! I was abused as a child, the idea that anyone gets their rocks off from someone calling them daddy while having sex is so upsetting. I dont want my child calling out daddy while havimg sex and I would send my husband packing if he started some sick daddy/child sex fettish. I know I sound close minded and judgmental but really I am not, but this is a hard line for me and it makes me sick.
Regimental_Phan 18
who's your daddy?
Arrow26 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
So are you not actuslly her father or is she just dumb?
mbuck87 19
Hahaha I really feel people aren't getting the poorly-spelled genius of this joke!
1dvs_bstd 41
lol.. she should have searched her feelings
Allison_leah23 17
You're right. I totally don't get it
cmo333 10
Are you stupid?
Rei_Ayanami 18
This is the part where you say something like "I'm your daddy!", give her a tap on the posterior, and continue on your way. There is not much chance she was actually bothered by your question, just a bit flustered, and maybe confused by the question if she is new to the dirty talk scene.
emilyjgraham 34
That may be the most polite way I've ever seen someone write "smack their ass".
_kitkitkat_ 12
But if she is actually bothered by the question, that's a quick way to make it much, much worse.
Rei_Ayanami 18
Thank you, I do try to be polite. :)
michael_wells831 16
I never have a girl call me daddy it's just weird and a turn off like I'm not trying to role play incest haha
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
Yeah, seconded. The last thing I want to think about when I'm having sex is my dad.
Mf2307 15
incest is gross
tayymeds 23
#39 that's an understatement.
Gaernem 17
So why do most people call each other baby? That's the worst kind of incest! It's your infant! The point is: You can't think of it in that way. Because it's not meant in an incest way.
joeyl1990 28
I never thought about the "incest" part of it. Now it'll turn me on even more!
sarah2144 14
Saying who's your daddy during sex is creepy as ****.
Rawrshi 25
But your partner calling you "baby" is cute? I mean, it isn't my thing either but it's really no different.
xleanne_aLly 23
Baby sounds weird. I prefer babe, I think it's cute. However calling your boyfriend / husband babe; is a LOT different them calling them daddy. Who wants to think of their father during sex? Ahhhh yuck. I still remember when I was 15 and my dad said, "If you ever have sex. Make sure to picture my face like this!" *pulls a horrified double chin face*
Zenechai 2
When you call someone your "baby", you're not saying "you're my child". You're saying "you're someone I feel affection toward and I'm protective of my relationship with you". "Daddy" really doesn't have any other connotations, unless you're a pimp, I guess. :/
DarkAriel7 1
You are a male figure in my life. You ride my ass all the time. See? It's not that hard if you try. But seriously you can hardly say that saying "baby" is less creepy than "daddy". In spanish calling your wife daughter or mom is not weird. Your mom can also call you daddy. Its not weird if you don't make it weird.
chatokun 10
I was going to point out the other language things as well. It's common in other languages to call spouses mama, papa, papi, etc. It probably stemmed from this practice.
tehman117 21
gotta remind her
dewberry2001 25
YDI cause what the **** man?
buckstop1 37
Agreed. If they're in a relationship and they are comfortable enough for sex, then OP should've known that she didn't know her father. Either that or I misinterpreted the whole situation and she was just not used to people saying stuff like that during sex
empbob 20
Unless she wouldn't call him daddy because he hadn't earned it yet and was prematurely tooting his own horn...
sabbyheartswhat 23
I think you got down voted because people don't understand what you mean by, "earned" it. As an avid D/d kinkster. I totally understand where you're coming from. Good on you! :)
wattsthepoint 12
You got a keeper.
blargblah 12
YDI cause doesnt matter had sex
buckstop1 37
What?
shutupshane12 12
#54 I'm also very confused by his comment. Is it trying to communicate with us?
metalhead4740 14
'Twas a poorly-thought out "I Just Had Sex" reference
biebahood 15
could've been worse... she could've slapped you n left cuz that's creepy as f