Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
Today, when my girlfriend woke me up, she said, "I just had the sexiest dream." Thinking she was feeling frisky, I started to try to fool around with her. She pulled away and said, "Well it wasn't about YOU." FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5am to tell me she was mad at me. Apparently I did something bad in her dream. She still won't talk to me. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, it's the third night in a row that I have had a sexual dream involving another woman. I'm married and when I tried talking to my husband about pleasing me better, he told me he doesn't want to go down on me because it makes him nervous. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML
Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML
Today, my wife had a dream in which I died while she was pregnant. This is troubling, especially since I had the exact same dream the day before. FML
Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML
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Top comments
ForestFire0 1
I just moderated this one an hour ago! This is very exciting for me. I've never had that happen before. The power is intoxicating! I think I'll fire someone tomorrow! This feeling's great!
MissCherrywhipx 0
Unlucky!
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Comments (203)
SamSJester 0
i got a solution for you too! http://www.fmylife.com/miscellaneous/2693360
jSOPURE 3
Try harder. Both ways. :)
silly_kate 0
well..........FYL!
SexyMami15 0
That's why ruffies exist xP haha
_insertnamehere_ 0
wow.... just wow.....wtf.... and that's just for all the comments. for the OP, I guess at least she wasn't dreaming "oh yes, yes! my husband NEVER pleases me like this!" right??
effmyyliifee 0
get a life #12. & this is FAKE, there was almost the exact same story a few days ago.
UncleverName_FYL 0
@jandersoniii LOL never gets old
Nakedsquirrel 5
First, try simply talking to her, and depending on what that produces, try counceling/remedying the problem if it's not huge/divorce. No one deserves a boring sex life when they're morally obliged to only one person. Leave her before you start feeling compelled to cheat, or otherwise sink into a completely loveless marriage.
soulsfirefly 8
62: What's up, Andrea Dworkin? And everyone who keeps making rape jokes should keep it to themselves. It's not funny. OP: Marriage counseling might be a good idea.
Jaguaress 2
One guess is that she's gay and just hasn't admitted it to herself. Certainly, try counseling because something isn't right there, and my suggestion is to go to sex counseling, and not just marriage counseling. Perhaps she's repressing something, or is actually a non-sexual person. Also, she should be willing to go to the doctor to rule out medical things like depression and hormonal imbalances which can cause loss of libido. If this is new behavior, there's also the possibility she's cheating on you. Don't spend your life with someone who isn't making you happy... Either she's willing to work on the sexual aspect of your relationship, or you deserve someone that fits more with what you want in a mate. I wish you luck.