Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
zetteymonsterxo 0
maybe he meant he didnt know you were in the kitchen with him?
sallen0046 4
Why would you assume he was making breakfast for you when there was only one plate? Next time, open your mouth and say hello before sitting down to be fed as though he were your servant.
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Comments (111)
ThiszMexicanLove 0
LMFAO! WIN! xD
daminantion 14
He prolly though, being a girl, you wouldve made him a sandwich if you were in fact there. Learn your role in society!
Cleannapkin 0
haha shux for u
knibbsy 4
Aww, shucks!
Morpheus414 0
He's probably reciting that line from Family Guy.
knibbsy 4
What line is that line?
knibbsy 4
Mykindaguy!
ashlucas 0
Maybe he was just kidding...some people overreact....
jweezy89 4
lol win. Sexist jokes are always a good time.
jdime209 2
he getting ready for round 2 bcuz he is hungry.
Illyssa_fml 4
Haha hungover?
spaceshan69 0
pretty sure he meant he didn't know you were in the kitchen I.E. not out of bed. you're a ******* retard.