Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, while cuddling with my boyfriend, he got up and said he needed to go home because he was tired and just wanted to relax and watch TV. That's what we were doing. FML
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Top comments
vntqmm 8
Well, at least he kept his promise...
Redoxx_fml 22
I guess you wanted sausage
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Comments (154)
vntqmm 8
Well, at least he kept his promise...
iiTsAJ 5
At least he cares…
klovemachine 24
Ah yeah
loufol22 5
Congratulations on your first comment.... No seriously you can check!
iiTsAJ 5
^ Lol wow didn't notice
NuTrees 9
'I want that breakfast in bed, That bacon and eggs, With that orange juice on the siiiide' Sorry you missed that breakfast of champions.
norotors 16
I wish someone brought me granola bars in the morning.
Cad6 24
I like eating some granola bars. They taste very yummy.
hahasooo 2
i agree! u shud b sumwat thankful.
The_Hitdude 12
*I *You *should *be *somewhat I'm not usually that guy, but if you're not going to make an effort to spell fully and correctly, then this site isn't for you. There are grammar Nazis on the prowl, and they're looking for people like you to scratch their correcting itch. Please, for your own sake, make an effort.
Mommyof2_91 10
Maybe he had to hurry off to work... So that he had enough money to buy the granola bars..
loufol22 5
36- I meant how many comments that user has ever posted for example I have posted 37.. Get it??
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
23- lmao stalker much?
SoSickWithIt 14
A daily serving of fiber is nothing to be upset about. You should be thankful he considers all of your innards rather than just one or two of them.. O.0
Birdie_Sage 0
B-b-but she's still hungry!
Eiregal2 10
Granola bars would fill me up for hours, I have a rather small appetite. If I did exercise I'd be pretty skinny, but I'm lazy, so I'm fat :-p lol
ShawnzieNstuff 6
I don't hate you because you're fat, you're fat because I hate you.
iBanana 17
Ha, it's funny because she's f- ...That's a bit harsh. I mean to say flamingo food.
loufol22 5
That's his idea of a breakfast served to his girlfriend???
SkoomaKi 28
It would seem so. I'm sure putting a piece of toast on wouldn't of been that hard for him.
syki 22
At least he didn't try to give her extra protein, straight from the source.
diidiimi 10
That's what I thought the punch line was going to be. A bit disappointed there.
Discombobulated9 12
Yeap! And tomorrow, he's going to cook dinner via ordering a takeaway ;D
Redoxx_fml 22
I guess you wanted sausage
honeybuncher 3
And scrambled eggs no doubt.
KiddNYC1O 22
Nah, egg whites...
tylersign 11
You look like scrambled eggs.
ProfessionalTrol_fml 14
40- thanks for killing the joke...
Cad6 24
Green eggs and ham all the way.
ladyLALAA 29
I do not like them with a fox.
abbyabb 4
More like sausage, two eggs and a little milk?
Mauskau 36
Hes lazy.
FMLsAreAwesome 0
You don't say?
xStaciexLynnx 15
I imagine they probably live together so no effort was put into it...
The_Hitdude 12
64-That was flawless. The situation and the delivery (with your profile pic as help) a definite 10. Well done, sir. Well done indeed.
Mauskau 36
My iPod refuses to add apostrophes sometimes or puts them in when I don't need them, just like my android phone. Woopee.
EyesofStone 27
That's no excuse. I'm using an Android phone and I never have issues with apostophes. ''u'' (Apostrophe face supports apostrophes.)
Super_Jill_ 1
That's sweet.
zandalee 20
Better than crotch sausage
bubo_fml 11
Did he offer a protien shake as well?
BoltTheSuperdog 22
If you know what I mean...
missonedirection 6
That's not a reason to dump someone.
randomkayx3 11
Mmm, granola bars!
SpottedZebra42 14
How nutty!