Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
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Top comments
zetteymonsterxo 0
maybe he meant he didnt know you were in the kitchen with him?
sallen0046 4
Why would you assume he was making breakfast for you when there was only one plate? Next time, open your mouth and say hello before sitting down to be fed as though he were your servant.
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Comments (111)
MAGNAVOX 0
That's ok, just don't go to work with cum on your hair.
buttsexchampion 0
hahahahaha, he said cum
angels21 0
I'd like to put some cum in ur hair.
5t3ff1k4h 47
56 - It's 'your'. Don't try to tell people they're unintelligent until you can prove you can at least string together some sentences using proper spelling and grammar.
ohthebloodygore 16
Steph, what are you talking about?
5t3ff1k4h 47
Precious - On another FML this kid tried to seem smart. I can't remember which one it is offhand, but I'll link you when I get a notification to the correct FML. It's a little out of context here, but they'll realize the point I'm making.
ohthebloodygore 16
I see. What an idiot. I apologise for speaking when it wasn't my turn. I simply thought you misplaced your comment. Carry on.
Tweety122888 0
good one ftw
mike3775 39
Some people do not pay attention to their surroundings when they get out of bed either. I have woken up, gotten out of bed, taken a shower, got dressed and gone to wake up the kids for school, and find one is not in his room, so I go back to my room and there he is in my bed sleeping.
Seddah 3
There's actually a scientific principle about that.
elmorous 0
Question is: Who did he think he was with then?
Juneyah1017 9
he probably thought you were filled from the sausage and balls with a side of skeet last night.
GoColts8718 0
Maybe if u were hotter he would notice u
mcxhunni 0
this is a gay fml
mcxhunni 0
-_-
sweetonsno 1
I'd imagine that boyfriend assumed that the poster would go home and spend the night with Moe. Ya know, her husband.
ImaginaryFoe 1
If you had greeted him before going to the table like the freaking Queen of Sheba, he would've known.
Fortuitous 0
Exactly, enemy who does not exist except only in my mind. We all know what happens when you assume. Right, OP?
Selena_is_back 7
sounds like another episode of Jersey Shore...
Selena_is_back 7
epic win!!!! XD