Today, I woke up to my balls covered in Icy Hot, a big old "fuck you" note from my girlfriend, and my door slamming shut. I'm starting to get the distinct impression I shouldn't have made that off-hand remark last night about her PMSing, after she rage-quit a game of Mario Kart. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my female room-mate decided to throw away my xbox, along with a few other possessions because they reminded her of her ex. Furiously, I asked her if "it was that time of the month again." Now I can't feel my balls, and miss my games. FML
Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML
Today, I get the feeling my wife is mad at me. I have no evidence to support this, except she ran me a bath with a bath bomb and a shit load of chilli powder, so like I say, no hard evidence except the excruciating burning in my asshole, peehole, ballsack, nostril and eyes. FML
Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, I entered my bedroom, ready to play some COD on my xbox 360. Instead, I find a note where my xbox used to be. It read "You think you can cheat on me and get away with it? Fuck you. I smashed the hell out of your stupid xbox." It was signed by my girlfriend. I never cheated on her. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML
Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML
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Top comments
Paco_el_Taco 17
At least she didn't shoot a blue shell of doom at you.
iOceanus 18
Especially when playing Mario Kart. Mario Kart is a serious matter!!
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Comments (268)
beyeswdragon 2
YDI for actually saying what you think when she is PMSing... Girls are MENTAL when they are PMSing. -.-
Briielle 1
I seriously do not understand why PMSing allows girls to act like bitches. I am a girl and I don't act differently when I am.
emeraldmaz 9
Well, I don't do anything purposefully, I just find that I'm more irritable and am more likely to speak my mind and snap when people annoy me. It's not something I put any forethought into though, such as in this post's scenario.
Dgenerate 3
Idk, Mario Kart manages to piss me the **** off every time I play it. I'm always coming back for more tho! Fun game is fun.
pipc 10
PMS comments are ignorant and sexist.
whyistherumgone_ 10
One does not simply talk to a woman about her period.
Bludmagnus 13
Honesty is the foundation of genuine relationships, period. There is something wrong with anyone who cannot handle that.
emeraldmaz 9
Maybe not so much to that extreme, but you deserve some sort of reprimand. Stop trying to invalidate emotions.
MrPortalFan 21
Don't you know you're supposed to always let your girlfriend win at video games?
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
he didnt deserve icy hot on his balls for saying she was pmsing..
dastiera 7
That's bullshit she overreacted. She just needs to accept maybe she was in a bad mood and it's always been a joke to say a girl is pmsing. She should have been over it by the morning, bitches can't let go of shit