Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML

Flying bastards

Today, while at the beach, my little sister thought it would be cute to feed a small seagull some of her food. Minutes later a flock of seagulls swarmed and attacked me and my sandwich. FML

Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML

Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML

Seagull on wheels

Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML

Nice bird

Today, a bird shit on my jacket whilst smoking, I cleaned it and went back outside, and got shit on again. FML

Today, I bought a delicious $17 lobster sandwich at a restaurant on the beach. The seagull who zoomed in and ripped it out of my hands as I was about to take the first bite seemed to enjoy it very much. FML

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML