Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
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Top comments
zerk211 4
damn I need a penis extension one of these days, the old 3-incher just isn't cutting it anymore
ZombieBunnies 0
Id give him a high five cuz that's a really small target.
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Comments (39)
peacegirl345 0
I smell like a raccoon's asshole. LOL!
DGross 8
wow that sucks... bet it backed up fast:-P
icall_BS 0
Throw the ash tray away. Unless, you own it then YDI for smoking.
bobman555 0
lol
michael32123 0
when I try to comment another video it says error variable missing and I spent like 5 mins typing it. help me!
girlygirllol8 0
uhhh??
Malinkrot 3
I knew someone would say "YDI for smoking," probably while cramming chicken nuggets and fries down their throat (but they are drinking a *diet* coke, so that makes it healthy!)
mudd 0
I got drunk one night and pissed on my Tony Romo jersy
Silense_is_loud 0
that suckd
FernandoTorres_fml 0
I see the similarity...
idk_what_2_put 0
sounds like a keeper
kayseexx7 0
haha. i think an ashtray might be a little smaller than a urial there... hahaha.
littlexlion 4
Sucks, at least it wasn't on your face?
Serec 0
True,but it would be funnier.
ZombieBunnies 0
Id give him a high five cuz that's a really small target.
purplemnm 9
this
dsalex 0
why is this an fml exactly? it's not like he pissed in your mouth while you were sleeping... Ydi for posting this. People have real problems in the world get over yourself.
doink 0
I'm assuming the ashtray had sentimental value, because that is the one possible reason for this being considered an FML.
underfailer 0
ok so obviously when you born something went doink. That or dope. Either way, what ashtray has sentimental value. Oh it was the last tray grandad threw is cigarrete in before he died of lung cancer and emphysema, I think not.
doink 0
*facepalm*
JustDial911 0
lol. at least it wasn't your mouth!
aliann14 0
I think it was funny. I hope you left it and made him clean it up next day. my husband does crap like that too.
ZombieBunnies 0
Your husband sounds like a superb winner. I bet all your lady friends just ooze romantic feelings for him.
zerk211 4
damn I need a penis extension one of these days, the old 3-incher just isn't cutting it anymore