Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML
Today, I let my boyfriend sleep over at my house for the first time. Upon arriving, he tossed his stuff on the floor and said "I gotta take a piss, where's your shower?" FML
Today, I was so drunk that I pissed myself in a hotel hallway while wearing a dress. My shoes squished all the way back to the room. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
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Top comments
Bebbo_fml 21
Make sure you shove them into his face while firmly saying "No!"
MegaTroller_fml 5
It's time for him to come out.
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Comments (144)
max_wilder 9
Wow
ShakeMeDown 12
No, SHOES. Not world of Warcraft.
jkmartinjk 16
I did that. When I was three.
jsx12345 0
Piss on his shoes.
oreobunbun 3
She seems pretty pissed off... *badum tss*
Crlnprz 11
Or she can make him wear the shoes until that piss doesn't smell anymore and then piss on his shoes and if they don't fit him, well she can cut holes in the front.
madelinebriana 11
Piss on his new copy of WAW3
madelinebriana 11
WOW*
DeathbatAttack 17
Mw3 or WoW -.-
madelinebriana 11
hahhaha my bad. either is acceptable in return for her favorite shoes
Keyman1212 14
PISS ON HIS FACE IN HIS SLEEP.
blackheart24 10
56- epic fail my friend.
Spoonz 4
Ok he pissed on your shoes. But come on, he was drunk. Anyone here who's come home pretty drunk has done something similar. Trying to get back at him is kinda childish
CapnAwesome 11
Are you PISSED off coz he PISSED at your shoes?
CapnAwesome 11
Comeon People do way crazy stuffs when they're drunk... Way crazy! Could have been Worse
jon120ukfan 2
I remember my first beer..
free2speak 14
OP, be glad. You know, it could've easily been your face that was receiving a golden shower.
Xr70r7 4
So what we get drunk?
persianjr1 7
So what we smoke weed..
Nutty4Muffs 3
98 I'd usually say to put on a shirt, but I think you could do with a hat instead.
yahoowizard 16
Don't think the aim would be as accurate
WhiteDream_fml 0
Instead of pissing on his shoes, shove your shoes up his ass. Hopefully they're heels. That would show him. :D
ThaMilkshake 0
OP is the kind of person that would die in a horror movie: "strange noice? lets investigate:D"
Xr70r7 4
Win 116!:D
jellenwood 35
Pee on his favorite shoes!!!
andromeda335 9
Boys don't have favourite shoes, they just have shoes
upyourzlolz 11
Sorry 45. I have a favorite pair...
lylasgurgur 12
Fly guys, guys with swag have a favorite pair.
web124 6
I have a favorite pair does that mean I'm not a guy?:'(
EvilCupcake8361 9
I accidentally read this as 'my favorite drunk boyfriend' haha
sugarandspice33 0
87- are you drunk?
Notimetobleed 14
47 look at the comment "Men dont have favourite shoes. You do? You're a wanna be fly boy.
Bebbo_fml 21
Make sure you shove them into his face while firmly saying "No!"
thisisafunnyname 12
Bad dog!
GothicAngel95 16
No treats for you!
HetaliaFreak 10
This is why we can't have nice things!
Fruit_Dealer 9
Two-fingers pointing while shouting "NO." always wins.
MegaTroller_fml 5
It's time for him to come out.
saIty 17
Oh no, I hope you didn't go apeshit on him. I know girls that would kill if someone pissed on their shoes. Especially if it's their favorite pair.
Alexisthebestest 16
I would be pissed off (no pun intended) if anyone pissed on my shoes- favorite ones or not.
HideouslyHuman 10
Isn't the pun intended if you acknowledge it?
boofgall 16
Yeah, it is. It's peoples clever way of inserting a pun.
Alexisthebestest 16
It wasn't intentional & I wasn't trying to be clever. If I wanted to use a pun I would have used some wack comment like "I bet you were pissed."
boofgall 16
That's not wack, that's very common.
boofgall 16
That's not wack, that's very common.
mpsteve137 15
Go pee on his face... Then slap him with a shoe
awagh666 14
That will just make him horny
ardencred 7
A golden shower with some S n M
Jimster1712 0
Urine trouble now!!!
J3R3MYY 14
Get him to buy you new shoes and make him suffer through the hours of shopping.. he wont piss on your shoes again.
ScrivNasty 3
Easy fix or him. Break up with her before that =P
cr3ativity 15
You mean break up with him, yeah? Sorry about the Grammar Nazi-ness. It was an impulse :/
Steve95401 49
Taking the boyfriend for hours of shoe shopping is the worst punishment imaginable.
Fruit_Dealer 9
64- According to the laws of logic & psychology, a girl with money from a second party that is destined to be spent on shoes is not being punished. By second party, I mean the drunk pisser is paying for the shoes.
Okayitwasme 0
My thoughts exactly. 2 pair should be the score.
ZXDriver 0
Insert stupid "pissed" jokes below.
cj7geojeep 0
Op needs to tell her boyfriend to piss off.
False_Stupidity 42
I bet the OP was pissed off with her boyfriend.