Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
zerk211 4
damn I need a penis extension one of these days, the old 3-incher just isn't cutting it anymore
ZombieBunnies 0
Id give him a high five cuz that's a really small target.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (39)
trackrunner00008 0
your bf is funny
hellomikey 0
yea, ashtrays are so hard to confuse with urinals. both of you are huge retards.
aDerangedStateOf 0
The Perfect Man Every Girl Dreams of
_swimcutie_ 0
Ewwww. That is pretty gross. I'm sure you will be laughing about it next week though. Haha
sycokid 0
now you have something to hold against him... if he has any pride
astro2 0
YDI totally i mean if you have such a bf, i'm sure you would've known about this type of crap AGES ago. I.e guy likes to get drunk and pass out and act like a tool. Now if you love that type of upbeat, party hard kind of guy, fine, but don't whine about it. I mean girls hate good guys because they're boring, or the smart intellectual ones are too old fashioned and telling them what to do. and prefers loud idiotic guys (subconsciously thinking they can change them) however when they pull crap like this they wonder why, wtf? lol
Malinkrot 3
Too bad a lot of the self proclaimed *intellectuals* think that posting angst-ridden "emo" song lyrics as their status updates, taking 46439 Photoshopped angled "deep and meaningful" pictures of their face and insulting everyone that they think are "conformists" makes them smart.
skeleton_skinner 0
Oh this is funny.... I wrote one just like this on here. You fail fyl and ydi
VeryNice329 0
what kind of urinals is your bf using to mistake something as tiny as an ashtray for one? drunk is not an excuse. I don't use dollhouse potties to pee in when I drink.
mjolene 0
haha, my room mate got drunk and peed In a dryer.
DutchCourage 0
Be glad. It could've been MUCH worse - I have friends who tend to pee in the corner of closets when drunk, try emptying THAT...