Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my roommate came home after a night of heavy drinking and started urinating on my bed. When I confronted him, he just slurred, "Sorry, thought it was my bed." FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, my husband came home late from drinking with his buddies, only to toss and turn and keep me up for an hour. He then sat up and didn't move for a few minutes. I sat up to see what was wrong, only to see him pissing on the carpet beside our bed. FML
Today, I reached a new low in my relationship: my boyfriend got so drunk I had to help him take a piss. FML
Today, I invited my boyfriend over to watch a movie with myself and a few friends. He got drunk, talked during the entire movie, fell into and broke my fan and then threw up all over my roommate's bathroom. He is still leaning over the toilet and my fan sounds like a woodpecker. FML
Today, I was working at 5 am at my office desk when I heard trickling water. I ran to the foyer, turned on the light, expecting to see my incontinent 16 year-old golden retriever. Instead, I witnessed my still drunk, high and comatose husband standing at the top of the stairs pissing on the carpet stairs. Again. FML
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Top comments
zerk211 4
damn I need a penis extension one of these days, the old 3-incher just isn't cutting it anymore
ZombieBunnies 0
Id give him a high five cuz that's a really small target.
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Comments (39)
KurouTenshi 0
hahahaha that would be so awesome xD your boyfriend sounds like he'd be greatat parties :D
f_alltheirlives 3
I just put out my cigarette in a urinal....
purplemnm 9
I hope you washed your hands
purplemnm 9
at least he wasnt peeing on you.
purplemnm 9
seriously what's with the drunk people pissing all over everyone and everything?
honestlove11 0
right? lol
Cian_1 28
Basically, you break the seal, and become so drunk that you think it's a good idea to pee wherever you are. :P
The_Norwegian 2
Did you make him drink his own pee, telling him it was orange juice?
saranottelling 7
Your boyfriend should learn the whole rectangle-square thing. A urinal CAN be an ashtray An ashtray CANNOT be a urinal. When you have more liquid than a container can hold it spills over. That is basic science... do we have to call Bill Nye the Science Guy to explain this to him? I hope not, he never blinks and keeps staring at me while I watch his show.
lostfaithinpppl 19
You picked him dear. If you don't like him then break up and go on with your life. If you do like him then don't bitch about him hear. You want us to feel sorry for you because of the choice you made?
dixieboo 0
very true
underpaid011 0
awesome. at least he used the ash tray and not the dishwasher or washing machine or something. or did he? nobody will ever know
turdburgers 0
So? Were you planning on eating the ash or something?
crystal87 0
whenever id stay at my ex bf's house, (after a looooong night at the bar or beer pong and flip cup).. he'd get blacked out and pee on all my clothes for the next day. it didn't matter where I put them, he would find a way. needless to say, we're no longer together. consider yourself lucky it was only an ash tray