Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Handjob
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Couldn't have been that great
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
See ya
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Sing me to sleep…
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
Top comments
tflnfml 0
Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.
crazyarsedfly 14
= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..
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Comments (112)
Ninjaface 0
You should have helped him. That's what friends do.
jchansfan 0
I don't get why you're sharing a bed with your friend in all honesty. Like aren't you a bit old for sleep overs in the same bed? :P
crypt6uardian 0
Yeah.. if the guy is not getting any.. and you are sleeping in the same bed.. odds are pretty good he will become horny... meaning his brain switches off.. he is not seeing his sweet friend.. he sees a female he finds attractive.. still dumb on his part.. for WHATEVER reason.. if a woman is sleeping in the same bed.. and the guy is straight.. you are teasing him. He didn't force himself on you at least. He should have made a move on you.. and got rejected instead. Far less dramatic and maybe just maybe she would have said yes... what he did was moronic.. only REALLY kinky women will be up for that.
ut_fan1 0
its your fault for sleeping in the same bed as him
infantry831 0
was he saying "don't look at me puppet" you both suck go kick rocks
minenotyours 0
tell him to call me next time this happens ;) lol
onceuponapenis 0
I wanna meet ths "minenottours" she sounds freaky...I'd ****'er...
ImmaEachuROAR 0
why were you sleeping in the same bed in the first place??
devilsown007 0
is the op a guy?!?
ut_fan1 0
you should of helped him out or started on yourself