Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
Today, I was having rough sex when I breathed too heavily with a dry throat, and puked on the bed. FML
Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML
Today, I woke up on a friend's floor with a massive hangover after her party last night. My friend, who was next to me, barfed all over me. She then told me that while I was drunk last night, I made out with her dog as well as two of our other friend's boyfriends. FML
Today, I woke up with the worst hangover of my life. My best friend comes over and informs me that I had sex with my girlfriend's two best friends last night. Awesome! Then I realized her best friends are guys. FML
Today, I saw one of my best friends having sex with a girl at a party. It was the first time I'd ever seen a girl naked. FML
Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
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Top comments
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why do people always expect sympathy for the stupid shit they do while drunk?
Jon Tessler 14
if you both were drunk, neither of you could give consent to having sex. you need to talk things out with him/her, and figure out how to move forward as friends or more. also replace the bedding and bed if necessary.
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Comments (4)
cuz803 46
Anything is possible when you're four sheets to the wind. Be more responsible.
Jon Tessler 14
if you both were drunk, neither of you could give consent to having sex. you need to talk things out with him/her, and figure out how to move forward as friends or more. also replace the bedding and bed if necessary.
iluffit 9
There was concent, its the sex I dont remember
Jon Tessler 14
you can't give consent while drunk. not according to the legal definition of consent. now did you talk to her about it?
bleachedraven 14
ouch
BurnInDemonFire 39
Why do people always expect sympathy for the stupid shit they do while drunk?
bleachedraven 14
it takes all kinds to make the world go around
Malachi Malachi 4
aaliyah " try again." or wtf ever that song Is called
bleachedraven 14
I love your humor 🤣 but that matchup doesn't seem redeemable