Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
tflnfml 0
Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.
crazyarsedfly 14
= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..
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Comments (112)
hahatofunny 20
You didn't join him?
Kyp_kingofhearts 12
That is gross but hilarious
SamanthaNGoree 10
It's weird to me that you were so freaked out by it and he's your best friend... Guys do that! If my best guy friend jerked off next to me, I would definitely joke with him about it the next day and share laughs!
phatway12 13
So he, uh, likes you, huh?
DusktheKat 12
you should just date him! you slept with him and he obviously finds you attractive! get with him!
lucasjames22 8
you can never speak to him again? geez...get over it.
shannon2348 14
Why? Get over it.