Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé and I attempted to have sex in my childhood bedroom. As we were falling onto the bed, I smacked my head on the wall, which caused a shelf of stuffed toys to fall onto the bed. Not only did it kill the mood, the shelf also hit me in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML
Today, we tried to have sex for the first time but I got so excited my blood pressure shot up and I got a nosebleed that didn't fully stop for nearly 30 minutes. Then when we tried again she accidentally headbutted me. The new bleeding still hasn't stopped and I'm feeling very lightheaded. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex, and it was my first time being on top. I got so into it that when I went to put my hands on the wall for support, the shelf above my bed snapped, with my favorite little cactus falling onto his face. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, when I lifted myself up a little bit. What I was not prepared for was my boyfriend leaning down to kiss my neck. We collided heads, hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate in an alley. He pushed me up against a wall and started kissing me, but he pushed me so hard I cut open my head and needed 10 stitches. FML
Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML
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Top comments
LostMy_Marbles 24
Rough sex, you're doing it wrong. Seriously though, hope you're ok!
junkman6 22
37 staples!? Jesus! I went through a windshield and didn't even need 37 staples! Well at least that sex war wound is cooler than run of the mill rug burn.
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Comments (75)
buttersmom 14
Well it could have been worse, right?
SweetasCandy0609 28
seriously #1 37 staples in OP'S head wasn't worse enough?
sarah5745 41
Nope #1, I don't think that ANYTHING could have been worse than that..
coming back in the future 30
~Yeah 38 staples~
pinkster2014 25
Well, there's a bright side to every situation :) pretty much....
orbit 22
Yeah it couldn't have been worse. 38 staples is really the worst thing that could ever happen...
razoray9 22
Actually I believe 39 staples is worse than 38
Geeve95 11
*face palm*
Ichiya 29
6ft wooden box doesn't sound too pleasant either.
buttersmom 14
Either nobody has a sense of humor or mine is just really shitty. Probably both.
incoherentrmblr 22
You didn't get hit with the book, you got hit with whole bookshelf...
brandoneyez1 25
40 staples would have been worse. I mean clearly one is too many, but 40 just would have been worse than 37 or 38, so it definitely could be worse. On that note: glad you are ok OP.
coldwithinme 14
No Pain, No Gain.
brivielle 15
Cheers to new beginnings OP!!! Oh and sorry about your head.
norotors 16
He finally got out of the friend zone!
LostMy_Marbles 24
Rough sex, you're doing it wrong. Seriously though, hope you're ok!
coldwithinme 14
If it doesn't hurt, you're not doing it right.
sayyestothedress 24
I LOVE your profile pic #6
bigmike25 11
That profile pic #6 is hilarious as hell xD
Criminallylnsane 13
Perhaps you shouldn't have panicked.
AnthraxPrincess 18
Sorry let me just turn off my anxiety for a bit so it won't get in the way.
junkman6 22
37 staples!? Jesus! I went through a windshield and didn't even need 37 staples! Well at least that sex war wound is cooler than run of the mill rug burn.
mikepzz 27
I'd say so, she can go down the ICU and brag about that shit lol
devildog562 33
Somehow I think this would be stitches... Normally people don't get more then a couple staples... But damn! Bookshelf : 1 Car window : 1 Hopefully op and #5 don't have hideous scars.
CatchMe25 16
Clearly you've never seen a person get their stomach stapled after a tummy tuck or a cesarean lol
Gunguy 11
I think they would have to staple the scalp due to how tight the skin is stretched.
Makifun 19
Well that escalated quickly.
Kruiser 16
Well he did lift her quite abruptly
keiNan_fml 35
well the sign is clear.... don't sleep with your best friend
CoGhostRider 31
Nah just don't let the sexual tension build so high it could blow the top of your head off.
Pingvinai 37
But, sex!
Ichiya 29
Butte sex!
fivetimeslonger 24
At least you have a cool story to tell when people ask, "so how'd you get that scar?" Seriously, though, ouch. Feel better & I hope you don't actually end up with a scar. :)
Al3xv3l92 24
You wanna know how I've got these Scars?
titusswan 6
Now THATs the definition of rough sex... Boys love scars with great stories behind them ;)