Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
tflnfml 0
Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.
crazyarsedfly 14
= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..
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Comments (112)
crazyarsedfly 14
= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..
White667 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
To be fair, it's pretty standard for a dude to do that every morning. Just grow up, get over it.
picturescrazy 24
He had a guest sleeping over though. The least he could do was take care of it in the bathroom or something.
crazyarsedfly 14
I never said the act itself was gross.. just that he did it there and then.....
amerrah 4
Whenever I stay at my guy friends house, I usually share the bed with him. but he always strips down to his briefs and hogs the covers. We have a joke that he gets wood exactly at 12 am. Lol
erika_lynnex 1
big deal. guys do that.
Gorsbug823 0
why were you in his bed?????
Brittaneyyy 0
it's the same as long as it's strictly a friends relationship I sleep in bed next to my guy friends n cuddle with them I don't see the big deal same gies for my best girl friends
MyScurvy 22
Wanna be friends :D
tflnfml 0
Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.
Skull_300 0
Did you give him a hug goobye, I mean goodbye or shake his hand? What the ****?
Melisaaaa 0
That's Hot.
heyitsbrii 0
totally agree..very hott!
canopy19 0
It's funny he couldn't wait to blow his load until after you left. As far as never speaking to him again, maybe you should talk to him one last time to say you don't appreciate being jerked off next to.
Starfire22 5
I would be wierded out, yet flattered at the same time...
KingHumanity 0
What's funny is that if the roles were reversed, complaining on FML would be the last thing a guy want to do.
bombchelle 0
im gonna try that one day haha
SpartanCEL 6
57, Just straddle him and you'll probably get what you want
perdix 31
What was the tissue for? Did he hit you with his spooge stream?
afrikaaner 0
LOL!!!
keepmeonpins 0
Obviously thats a little messed up that he would whack off while you were sleeping next to him but you got in bed with him and when a guy has a chick in bed with him, regardless of how close or buddy buddy you are, he is gonna think about banging you...why were you sleeping with him anyway? You probably tease the **** out of him anyway and I bet you did something to set him off...just be thankful he just rubbed one out and didnt rape you....but i bet YDI anyway.
peete182 0
wow that's a bit heavy, we don't all consider raping girls who get in our beds you know. I get what you're saying though.
JKfusion 0
smart guy