Today, I woke up in my best guy friend's bed to the sound of him jerking off. As I laid there motionless with my back to him, he reached around me to grab a tissue. I don't think I can ever speak to him again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
Today, I woke up naked in my best friend's roommate's bed. We had sex and I puked on the bed. My first sex in over a year and I don't remember a thing. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my best friend who lives out of town. He was strangely quiet. Later that day I asked him why he didn't talk much. He admitted he was jacking off to the sound of my voice. FML
Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML
Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and who knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night… It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML
Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML
Today, I woke up beside a disgusting guy I didn't know. He told me he was the best friend of the handsome guy I was hitting on yesterday evening. I can't remember at which point I got mislead into bringing the wrong one home. FML
Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML
Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML
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Top comments
tflnfml 0
Nasty. Maybe he's into you? No pun intended.
crazyarsedfly 14
= (That's unacceptable on his behalf.. and rather gross..
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Comments (112)
FederalAgent 0
Couple questions... 1) why were you in bed with your "best guy friend" 2a) If you were comfortable to be in bed with your "best guy friend" this shouldn't freak you out 3) Why would he jerk off in your presence if you are just friends? 4) Make sure he didn't have a camera
caticaticati 3
WHY IS EVERYONE SO DUMB?! Just because she was comfortable enough to sleep in the same bed as him does not mean she is sexually attracted to him or wants to see him jerk off. I have 3 best guys friends - one is my boyfriend, and this wouldn't weird me out with him. But the other two are like brothers to be and it would be weird as hell if they did this. If you're not sexually attracted to someone, there's nothing 'hot' about waking up to that. And obviously OP is not sexually attracted to her BEST GUY FRIEND (to those of you pointing out that she should be fine with it since that's what he is, note the fact that there's no mention of romantic feelings in the term).
manda_baby_rawr 4
I slept on the floor in the arms of my guy best friend once. I didn't wake up to him whacking off. it's the fact of decency...
edmac969 0
this is absolutely YOUR fault! what were u doing in his bed to begin with if ur not going to sleep with him? u woke up there? how did u get there? only reason he was jerking off was cuause u gave him blue balls if u would of did ur part that would of never happened!
Melisaaaa 0
Caticaticati- Chill Out! You're taking this FML too seriously.
FederalAgent 0
couldn't have said it better myself.
imfrikknbad 0
besides the fact she slept in his bed already kinda leads him on. And if she's not attracted don't be a tease and sleep in his bed!!!
BunnyDrastic 0
Damn
musicislife1995_fml 0
you slept with him.. you asked for it and now your complaining? grow up.
omgawshglee 4
It didn't say she had sex with him, you idiot TIP- read the FML properly before commenting
Compass 0
Be grateful. At least he gave you a reach-around. EDIT: I'm surprised nobody has replied to the first comment to bump themselves to the top. I hope I didn't just jinx it?
pandaax5 0
Thats funny. Kinda hot.
MeGustaComer 0
At least you know one person who's wishing you a white Christmas.
Fascinated 0
lol xD
KHADOOZLE 0
MAYBE YOU DIDN'T SHOW HIM A GOOD ENOUGH TIME AND HE HAD TO FINISH HIMSELF OFF! TWO DUDES SLEEPING IN THE SAME BED "****"!