Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML
Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML
Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML
Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ilikesexyparties 0
aw, at least you have a sweet coworker
MmmHotWaffles 0
so..is the caramel alright?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (87)
Compwiz1993 0
Wow that sucks... I am now resisting the urge to yell out "first" because I hate it when people do that too.
amerrah 4
I wish I worked at a chocolate factory :)
xxxbooxxx 16
me too :)
amoscore 5
You should let Charlie know too.
cocknblock 0
Tell Willie I said Hi!
BauerMegan 31
How do you mistake caramel for a spider?
ohhhhshizzz 0
#1: You just acknowledged that you were first. Well, wow. ROFL, that is hilarious.
BeanieBaby 0
sucks 4U
ilikesexyparties 0
aw, at least you have a sweet coworker
Afghanee666 0
YDI for not thanking Allah!
MmmHotWaffles 0
so..is the caramel alright?
Headcase 0
You have the best job ever!!!!
b2redneck 0
wtf? #5 What is up with you and all your Taliban and Allah comments? Anyways, this sounds eerily similar to crap I've pulled in the past!
daprnena4lyfe 0
ha ur an idiot LOL look next time instead of jumping to conclusions that a bug fell on you LOL
NorfolkDude 2
Stop acting like a freaking pussy, and next time just say, "Hmm, something fell on me" then look. Don't act like a freaking gorilla in the mist.
Jak0p 25
actually I can feel the pain pretty good. spiders are scary so I definitely would freak out, too.