Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
What's with all the pregnant crazy lady FMLs lately?
Dadothy 8
Hormones:/ don't worry I'm sure she will get over it
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Comments (144)
s0ulslack 20
You better be for making up something serious, no one wants a woman pissed at them... especially a hormonal pregnant one. GOOD LUCK
fbear10 5
Maybe you should sleep on the couch now...:)
perdix 31
I would make a snide "pregnancy before marriage" remark, but I'm already getting sodomized at the story of the loser who hired a *****-friend who couldn't remember her name.
fbear10 5
Ou That's so true, peeople really should be careful, or get married before they have a kid or it's known as a "illegitimate" kid...
perdix 31
Yes, but that kid could become a doctor.
Enslaved 38
Look on the brighter side, perdix, you won't get pregnant getting sodomized. :P
Briiyahh 7
Hormones
Slackness 10
I am happy just being step dad, looking out for some losers kid and promoting him to success. Amazing the changes I can make. (also respected in Islamic culture, just western culture doesn't respect it enough). Live for the kids. Not every child from a broken home has be shite! Regs Slackness
fsanchez9x 0
That's a pretty subtle way to try to get her to get an shmushmortion
MadlyInLust 5
Everyone seems to be ignoring the important part. A pregnant girl fell out of bed. Sure it's not your fault but you could've killed your kid.
Leslier_fml 4
Maybe you should get a bigger bed
Calyx_fml 22
Given the mass quantities of hormonal pregnant wife FMLs lately its easy to conclude that the lesson of the week is... Don't be silly, wrap your willy. Or even better... Don't be a putz, snip your nuts.
xoxotati 1
I'd be pissed to the baby could've been hurt