Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML
Today, it was our first time sleeping in the same bed together. She tossed and turned so much, she actually kicked me out onto the floor, so now I have a black eye and a mild concussion. Ta babe. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
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Top comments
evilplatypus 39
What's with all the pregnant crazy lady FMLs lately?
Dadothy 8
Hormones:/ don't worry I'm sure she will get over it
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Comments (144)
SB1010 0
Bitches be crazy.
MikeMikeTheAzn 3
Congratz on the baby though :D
boycrazy30007 12
I wouldn't marry her. Hormones are no excuse to be a bitch.
DocBastard 40
And you know exactly WHAT about pregnancy and marriage? Hormones cause pregnant women to act in very strange (and occasionally irrational) ways, and love makes men stay with such women because we know it isn't their fault. Grow up.
Awsumuzzie 12
Hormones are the ONLY excuse, actually. Have you never gotten your period before? Imagine your symptoms on steroids.
Briiyahh 7
Your soo freakin stupid it's hormones ever gotten your period? Or are you some kid on FML? Cause a smart person would know its not her fault
bri1201 0
You must be pretty dumb, cause hormones drive some people crazy, you must be some little ass kid who knows nothing about the subject.
trismagestus 19
Yay, domestic abuse is a-ok if you're a girl, and you are feeling irrational! I'll tell my friends that it's their fault when they get punched by their partners. :)
countryb_cth 38
Umm domestic violence is on purpose what happened to OP was an accident. Plus she was probably half asleep when it happened.
DocBastard 40
There sure seem to be a lot of pregnancy-related FMLs recently. Either the mods are on a crazy-pregnant-lady kick and approving more stories, or pregnant women are just getting crazier. EDIT: I didn't write this! It was my cousin or something...no, my dog wrote it! Crazy pregnant women please don't kill mj*38jfwo4w
MrFuzzles 5
Someone call a doc....shit.
Enslaved 38
The Doctor is IN-sane.
SammyS2012 21
R.I.P DocBastard. Death by crazy pregnant women. :'(
Herculesninja27 5
She's just showing you how protective she is!... You know like a mama bird with her little chick....
chimocho 8
So deserved it! Yes you were asleep but you still pushed her out of bed. I'd have been pissed, but a pregnant woman? She totally has a right to be angry at you.
boofgall 16
You just know the chicks on here saying "omg you deserve it op! I'd be pissed too!" will be crazy when they're pregnant.
5t3ff1k4h 47
You're both right. She's acting a little extreme in this situation, BUT the husband pushing her out of bed, even by accident, could be enough to hurt the baby. She's under the effect of pregnancy hormones but she's acting out like that likely because of her worry for her baby.
coughyochick 7
Yes, because you have full control in your sleep. I woke up holding my phone with my dog on my face.
KiddNYC1O 22
Just like a mama grizzly bear.
B3Y0ND 3
I totally understand if she was worried about her baby's health- seeing as the smallest bump while they're in the womb can cause some long term disabilities- but no reason to punch the poor hubby in the face.
Tempest559 12
Being hormonal isn't a reason to be physical. Only one way to react now, whoop that trick, get em'
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Whoop that trick, then get em? Dude, you totally lost me. Who's whooping what trick?
unknown_user5566 27
"Trick" is slang for a prostitute.
CEiiLEiiGH 7
YDI! Not only was she pushed out of bed, she's pregnant so you could've hurt the baby too !
trismagestus 19
#36: I love people who justify domestic abuse. You're a good person.
pikachu1316 11
ikr I don't get why this comment was buried even though he was asleep it was his fault
gracehi 33
I think the pregnant women must be plotting world domination. I must bring down this operation...from the inside. *heads to boyfriend's house*
Deannie88 6
Not to be mean but you could of knocked her ontop of her belly. Maybe that's why she was pissed? She'll realize it was an accident OP! Don't worry! Congrats on the baby tho!