peanutprobs
Bochum, Germany
Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
djshahso
United States
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML
Anonymous
United States
Criminal Minds
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
epipen life
United States
Call the cops!
Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML
Anonymous
Elkhart, United States
Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML
stuckwithafamilyofcunts
El Puig, Spain
Today, my little brother gave me an open jar of peanut butter for my birthday. I'm deathly allergic, and he knows it. Despite his maniacal grin and snickering, my parents said it was an innocent mistake, and grounded me for yelling at him. FML
Anonymous
United States
Gotcha good
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
phlyingphuck
United States
Today, I had a serious allergic reaction to the food I ate at a Chinese restaurant that supposedly didn't contain peanuts. According to my waitress, peanut oil "doesn't count". FML
Anonymous
Bisbee, United States
Close shave
Today, I grabbed a box of my favorite granola bars, the only flavor the brand makes without nuts, which I'm severely allergic to. A visit to the ER after my throat closed up told me that I'd missed the notice on the shelf, warning that they're now making them with peanuts. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML
Top comments
TanzWolf 26
If he didn't know, then it's be funny, but if he knew.... Well, **** him.
ermegehrd 3
That's awful! Hope you're ok.. Add lube to his food.
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Comments (80)
TanzWolf 26
If he didn't know, then it's be funny, but if he knew.... Well, **** him.
TrippingOnAcid 29
Why would they pull that prank if they didn't know?
TanzWolf 26
Peanuts can be absolutely horrible if put in foods that don't belong with peanuts.
coming back in the future 30
Well OP's friend is nuts.
redneck66 11
#29- this our 2 billionth nut related joke! you win! and your prize?.....nothing, sorry.
sebasrodriguez15 7
#1 what other reason would he have for putting peanuts in his food if he didn't know seriously?
ermegehrd 3
That's awful! Hope you're ok.. Add lube to his food.
tony1891 22
did you just say add lube to his food? why would you do that?!
ImTheAlpha 30
Why would you add peanuts to the food of someone who's allergic? at least the lube won't kill him.
Ichiya 29
Add a fist to his throat.
Eleora 19
For what?? To make his food go down better??
mete_orito 34
I think #3 talks about the lube because he suggest OP to put his friend's food right in his as*.
reich6842 5
add glue into his food the super sticky kind
RecklessLove 18
What other kind is there?
redneck66 11
i think they mean like gorilla glue...idfk what else they could mean....sweet release all over their food? idk.
DoubleDosexo 12
well, super glue isn't so much sticky as it is saw part of skin off. and Elmer's glue is kind of sticky. tacky glue?
Mynamewontfi 40
Your friend is nuts for doing that, that "prank" could have gone horribly wrong.
Poofhereiam 13
Maybe he didn't know? Possibility.
AFaye3964 17
thats not a prank, i think he was trying to poison you.
miianah1 22
That's nut nice at all. He should pecan someone else.
TanzWolf 26
You tried really hard for this.
shay_serendipity 29
Maybe a little too hard.
Octwo 16
IMO these jokes got old a long time ago.
Flowtastic 16
IMO the people complaining about the puns is a bit worse.
Im2Shy 16
Sorry that your friend is an idiot. It's not funny when it can kill you! Glad you're ok.
bobdlawr 8
Oh heck that's due for a surprise nail to the gonads when he's least expecting it in the most embarrassing place possible
ThePaperDragon 31
Pray it was a poorly thought out prank and he was not using the war as a cover for more malicious activities.
ChristianH39 30
He probably thought it would just make OP a little itchy or similarly not life threatening. Unless he's tired of the prank war and just wanted to kill OP.
Brandi_Faith 34
I agree. Either he didn't know op had an allergy and put the peanuts in the food to mess up the taste. Or more likely, he knew he had an allergy but just thought he would get a bit itchy and some hives or something. I am mildly allergic to peanuts and only get an itchy throat, however I was told to never eat peanuts again because an itchy throat is a sign it could close and peanut allergies can increase in severity as time goes on. No allergy joke is ever funny because even a mild allergy may turn into a severe one. I think your friend is just stupid and didn't realize the real damage that could have caused.