Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It must get hairy too, if you know what I mean. All those dog hairs.
therealslim 15
Did you wink and say yes?
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Comments (114)
trollfaced 2
You could've asked if he can get you wet. I'll stop now But FYL OP
uberdubers 3
You got the excitement of being first get to you, didn't you?
romesh17fml 8
No. Just no.
Il_Maestro 6
Both individuals involved in this FML are female.
uberdubers 3
I think 1 let the excitement of being first get to them.
hockeyoceancity 13
You do realize he could have easily just forgot to add the "s"... Not everyone rereads what they say to make their grammar correct, not saying it's right or wrong just pointing it out.
Death_Hoe_Inn 10
I see the excitement of first comment really got to you
bethany_alexis 3
FYL for being an idiot!
ch3s 4
#13 ... And?
killdozer1 2
Dog baths are sexy!
the_anti_hipster 7
OP: "yes, especially those wiener dogs!"
navik23 6
What is wrong with you two?
Abdul888 16
and I know it
v4extreme 6
Furry alert
therealslim 15
Did you wink and say yes?
AKGirlinSD 20
Yes she did ;).
YoTengoTomatoes 7
That's a really poor choice of words considering where the doctor works...
uberdubers 3
Everyone realizes that, having read the FML.
dude1122332 9
Poker face= win.
1crabbygirl 10
Dr messing with her, obvo.
ihaveFMLfeverr 5
99- your picture is beyond disturbing
ddlovatolover 23
That's exactly what she wants OP to think. Where, on the other hand, she meant a totally different thing. (;
SkoomaKi 28
It must get hairy too, if you know what I mean. All those dog hairs.
In_some_bullshit 13
Ha.. Good one!
Abdul888 16
pubes?
henry214365 4
Nice one lol
SqueakyChipmunk 22
That's really ****** up if dog hair made it's way to your ******.
bizarre_ftw 22
How sad, a top notch comment with only borderline preschool level replies to it's name
wowthatissad 9
I love you
piinkgiirl 8
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHA
wowthatissad 9
.
Shit_talkin_chik 5
Lmfao!! That's Not an FML that's an I love my life! Ha!
therealslim 15
'Shit_talkin_chik'... Seems very appropriate
Il_Maestro 6
Are you sure she was talking about your dog not your pussy?
boofgall 16
Not really an appropriate thing for them to discuss I'd say, at least not in such a phrased way.
Il_Maestro 6
'Twas a joke. And it is late as hell. My apologies, FML, for my unentertaining post!
maosquare 18
People should stop using the "it is late" excuse when they get thumbed down.
Feared 9
It's never too late for FML!
bizarre_ftw 22
65 especially when FML is often the last resort
hecallsmedarlin 7
56- I couldn't agree more. I mean, what the hell does it being late have anything to do with the fact that the person wrote one stupid ass comment?!
In_some_bullshit 13
Did you then get wet?
DespairFaction 11
The two of you should have gone to eat out after she checked you out.
BountyBass 13
Eat out... The start of any good lesbian porno
simonsaysYDI 8
What kind of amazing **** have you found that STARTS with any kind of sex? Always gotta skip ahead to the 5min mark =P.
DogsPaw 16
But some people only need 45 seconds.
jizzwold 21
Wait your guys' **** has parts where there isn't sex happening?
uberdubers 3
78- Foreplay.
jizzwold 21
83 in ****?
jbsington 8
**** without foreplay irritates me.
TrippingOnAcid 29
I can't think of anything much more awkward...
DespairFaction 11
Her dad could have been the gynecologist, that might make it more awkward and incestuous.