Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

Behave yourselves

Today, I got sneezed on by a fully grown man. FML

Say it, don't spray it

Today, I heard my coworker sneeze on the other side of the break room, and right after I felt something wet hit my cheek. FML

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

Today, I got my first compliment in over a year. It was from my gynecologist, saying I have a beautiful cervix. FML

Take it while you can

Today, my dentist told me I had a good tongue. That's the best compliment I've gotten in months. FML

Gross!

Today, I was waiting in a line, texting on my phone. I hear what sounded like a sneeze and said, "Bless you" to the man in front of me. He gave me a dirty look as I began to smell something awful. It wasn't a sneeze. FML

Today, I got whiplash from sneezing. FML

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

Today, I was in a meeting and someone behind me sneezed really loudly. As they were doing so, I felt something cold land on my neck. FML