Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It must get hairy too, if you know what I mean. All those dog hairs.
therealslim 15
Did you wink and say yes?
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Comments (114)
ajcastillo21 0
Haha, oh wow
a7xinsane 5
Should have unessicaraly freaked the **** out.
elletex 8
*unnecessarily
a7xinsane 5
Ugh I always **** that word up.
False_Stupidity 42
And unnecessarily so, if you just take the time to proof read..
a7xinsane 5
If you took some time to pay attention you would realize that this mistake of mine was already corrected by someone else and noted by me.
meltdownman420 0
maybe I'm an idiot, but how would she know that from looking I. your pants
hbbs93 6
Yeah I was wondering that too.
DogsPaw 16
Well when a person is let's say "down there" it's a little awkward, so small talk often occurs.
Ameel_fml 19
Call me crazy, but that seems like a weird thing to say in ANY situation. o_O
StubbornDonkey 10
Your crazy
yuggi1 11
Hey, at least you weren't diagnosed with something. Count your blessing that her unthoughtful comment was the climax of your visit.
DrownedMyFish 18
Lol "climax". Get it?
linkinpark98 24
OP: "Y-...No? Well... I guess?" Gynecologist: "Yeah, my dog gets me wet all the time too." OP: (0_0)
dude1122332 9
It could go either way, if you think about.
the_true_batman 10
Why would you need to think about it to realize that?
dude1122332 9
You must have not read my comment carefully. Read it again, and this time with heart.
the_true_batman 10
Reading it again I realize you said "if you think about". That doesn't even make sense.
almathis1994 6
He means getting wet from the dogs on a completely different level...
whogivesafuck88 10
Think about. I got it. Clever. :)
asherm 15
Lol
heyred 11
Sure she did.
om102907 4
Another bipolar moment.