Sneaky boy

It's a doggy dog world

Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML

Today, I gave my 8-month-old a bath in the kitchen sink after dinner, like I always do. Today, she decided to poop in it. FML

At the car wash

Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

Nom nom nom

Today, I used a new body wash that smells like vanilla cookies. My dog spent the entire day chasing me around and trying to lick my arms. FML

Parklife!

Today, I took my dog to the park. He ran straight into a muddy pond, came back to shake himself off, and got mud all over my freshly cleaned white hoodie. A stranger passing by gave us a thumbs up and said, “Good boy!” I'm not sure who he was talking to. FML

Keeping warm

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

Today, I was taking a bubble bath, and had my iPod touch on the side of my bathtub so I could listen to my music. My dog walked up to the side of the tub, looked me in the eye, and nudged my iPod into the water. FML

Nutritious

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

Good boy

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML