Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML
Today, while at work for a dog groomer, I picked up a new puppy that came in for a groom. I held it up at face level with me, baby talking it, when it promptly began peeing. Luckily, it didn't get on my clothes. Unluckily, it got onto my face and into my mouth. FML
Today, the highlight of my day was learning how to drain my dog's anal glands. FML
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
Today, I was at Bath and Body Works with a friend of mine. She wanted me to smell a particular lotion and when she brought it up to my nose, she squeezed the bottle and lotion went all over my face. Right after, a worker came by and commented how the lotion "got a little too excited". FML
Today, I took my car into a car wash. I guess it was a bad idea to do it with my dog in the car, because he freaked out, started scrambling around, and ended up pissing on everything, me included. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
Today, I used a new body wash that smells like vanilla cookies. My dog spent the entire day chasing me around and trying to lick my arms. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
Sometimes there should be limits on the freedom of expression.
E2dav 5
Seriously that should only be done at a vet clinic. What was that dude thinking?!
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Comments (11)
E2dav 5
Seriously that should only be done at a vet clinic. What was that dude thinking?!
julfunky 29
Actual vets have said it can be done at home if you know how to do it properly. If this guy’s dog needs it done often then I assume he learned how.
RichardPencil 32
Sometimes there should be limits on the freedom of expression.
riley873 21
🤦🏿♀️
anonurmom 12
..............
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
next time bathe him at home
Muza 1
Idk what to say, but you need to go get checked no telling whats in that dogs butty hole... The owner should cover all those medical expenses. ijs
lj2000 5
Next time. Wash your ******* dog in the shower/ yard like a normal person
hellphone_fml 37
There is litteral snow outside
Iamthebanzai22 21
Oh dear God.... *hurls*
Oley 27
Turn the other cheek😂