Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was bathing my dog at a self-serve dog wash at a pet store. The person next to me decided to express his dog's anal glands, and the vile, greasy, fish-smelling liquid hit me on the side of my face. FML
Today, while working at my tanning salon, a woman came in and I put her in a booth, which are all stand up. After she comes out, I go in to clean it and realize that floor is all wet. I questioned her about it and she replies, "Oh, I peed, that's not a drain?". FML
Today, I visited my gynecologist. As she had her fingers inside me she decided that was the perfect time to say, "I absolutely love your socks!" FML
Today, I went to my gynecologist's for a check-up. After the doctor checked me I went to the bathroom. It turns out the walls aren't soundproofed, because I could hear the doctor telling his assistant, "God! How did she ever find a husband?" FML
Today, my doctor told me to take off my pants so she could do a checkup. When I took them off, she gasped. When I asked what was wrong, she said she was expecting something else. She thought I was a dude. FML
Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML
Today, I had to tell my best friend that I couldn't make it to the lake today or tomorrow because I'd been called in to work. She won't believe me and thinks I'm simply avoiding her. I got called in to bathe and clean dogs' anal glands. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
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Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
It must get hairy too, if you know what I mean. All those dog hairs.
therealslim 15
Did you wink and say yes?
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Comments (114)
Spazz420 7
Ya that's just as funny as the dr saying "hold this for me"
howrudoin 11
Oh yea...nothin like visiting a gynecologist that gets you wet and aroused ;)
jaytee1994 9
Trick question lmao. At lest you didn't say something sexual about getting wet. That woulda been embarrassing lol
JulietRose 10
Not really an FML, just a funny story.
perdix 31
Why? Did your uterus smell of peanut butter? Tell her that your job does make you wet a lot -- that part of squeezing the dogs' anal glands does it for you :D
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Baby we all went there.
little_one 20
Get your clit pierced next time, her reaction will probably hilarious!
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Awesome, someone out there has more of a gutter mind than I do.
noisebox 1
Was that after or before you told her: 'once a day twice on Sundays' ?
YoungMisfit 9
Like I always say. Bitches be crazy.