Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML
Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML
Today, at work, an old lady was staring at my crotch a lot. I looked down, thinking maybe I had an open fly. I didn't. FML
Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML
Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
Today, I was at the gynecologist and he was performing a routine check-up. He was a new doctor and I was just slightly uncomfortable with him. About mid-check-up, as he felt around my uterus, he said in a cartoonish voice, "Oh, it's so squishy up here." The doctor turned me into a sock puppet. FML
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
Today, at my job at a frozen yogurt shop, an elderly woman gladly announced that I'd be seeing a lot of her due to the vaginal infection that she has. Thank you for that, ma'am. FML
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
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Top comments
BigShOtz07 5
This reminds me of the movie Teeth *shutters*
notjanedoe 27
That reminds me of cows *udders*.
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Comments (159)
BigShOtz07 5
This reminds me of the movie Teeth *shutters*
gc327072 31
That reminds me of window coverings. *shudders*
notjanedoe 27
That reminds me of cows *udders*.
HowieDoIt 21
Th-th-that reminds me of... st-st-*stutters*
Nutz101 7
Best comments ever
TwiztedYuri 9
which reminds me of uuuuunnnhhhh... "nutted"
lonewolf621 17
This reminds me of birds, "flutters"
Bloodjoker 11
******-Dentata!
Wizardo 34
Reminds me of an old car *sputters*
pkom96 5
That reminds me of my clogged up *gutters*
mattlw 25
That reminds me of hoarders *Clutters
KeXu 6
That reminds me of meat *apples*
Wizardo 34
Remind me of rain *patters*
hayyyyleyyyybaby_fml 14
reminds me of the top bunk...*ladders*
mattlw 25
That reminds me of deep fryers. *batters*
Roskosity 22
That reminds me of paint. *Splatters*
epic13 12
That reminds me of glass. *shatters*
mattlw 25
I work at a haberdashery. *hatters*
RoboCunnilingus 23
That reminds me of physics *matters*
Wizardo 34
Reminds me of **** *wankers*
ApologyKick 25
Reminds me of when I start talking to myself *mutters*
NakMuayAdam 19
That reminds me of airplanes *rudders*
rasengan1544 12
H-H-Hey is I-it c-cold in here *shivers*
maximus_prime 24
That reminds me of when I patted that lion, "tatters"
juwood 7
Reminds me of golf gear. *putters*
maximus_prime 24
Reminds me of some FML users, "nutters"
maximus_prime 24
Reminds me of some FML users, "nutters"
flockz 20
this entire thread reminds me of repetitive dubstep. *wubbers*
DefiningDivine 13
C-C-C-Combo Breaker! No? Ok.
mattlw 25
That reminds me of safe sex. *rubbers*
winterbee123 9
That reminds me of my lack of *lovers*
mattlw 25
That reminds me of that time I got robbed *muggers*
LightningCactus 12
That reminds me of the time I found some land *lubbers*
BradTheBrony 19
That reminds me of how I like my toast. With *butter*
Klavier 5
That reminds me if me. *chatters*
suri_mf 8
This reminds me of my dog *Sawyer*.
Wimoweh 10
That reminds me of science *aperture*
firepanda11 7
It diesnt bite It only sucks
omgcyndaquil 23
No.
ShyAnn29 15
2, a ****** doesn't suck on it's own, lol that would be very very odd!
Grauncho 27
You remind me of a thirteen year old self described "sexpert"
WrongRomance 11
Aw, firepanda11... I really hope you at least aren't female yourself
happle 21
If my ****** sucked, my periods would be even more difficult.
AliceLockehart 18
Why is this an FML? That's awesome! I thought so anyway. It could have been worse, much worse. Like if she hadn't showered in a few weeks or her ****** was prolapsed. Or had teeth. Eurgh.
liv_graham 7
i guess there isn't protocol for this
NurseJonathan 9
Oh yeah they do. There's an entire class for future dentists on how to deal with vaginas spontaneously growing eyes. It's a rampant disease now and days.
Bloodjoker 11
Why would they teach dentists this? Are they gonna teach the gynecologist about it like a mentor?
NurseJonathan 9
I was being sarcastic. Since when is there a disease for googly eyes spawning on vaginas?
pieman528 10
Wow.
notjanedoe 27
Maybe she mistook you for a dentist? ****** dentata! Watch out!
lewk908 13
i bet you see some crazy shit as a gynecologist. pps erryday
DontThumbMeDown 8
Lmao. Don't look into the googly eyes or you will die.
Calculate900 4
That's really awesome. I imagine it broke up the monotony.
ironic_legacy 9
Yeah, exactly. I don't see how your life sucks, I'd say you now have a memory you can carry around and laugh at whenever you're feeling down. Your life's been enriched, even if it was in a rather strange way haha
ironic_legacy 9
It doesn't say whether the OP is a man or a girl, and, even if it did, we wouldn't know if they think of their job in an unprofessional way
lilhellian 27
For the unproffessional it's all fun and games until the blue waffle comes in..
dreamtosing 15
Well did it?
etishuman22 32
"When it rains, it pours". --Line from "Teeth".
etishuman22 32
I guess I should have explained myself better. I was saying that line in reference to all the silly comments alluding to the movie, "Teeth".
mattlw 25
Feeeeeeeed meeeeeeee Seeeymour!
Hizodge 4
Clearly she intends to deceive you. Never break eye-contact with a ******, not even once. Everyone knows that.
NurseJonathan 9
They can attack in the blink of a googly eye.
Geometric 18
Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you're dead. Don't turn your back. Don't look away. And don't blink. - The Doctor
jlynn11 1
#124 Best comment ever!
appelflap 22
She gave you the eye, that's for sure.
raesos91 26
the eye of sauron?
appelflap 22
Indeed so!
HowieDoIt 21
Try this one at your next proctology visit ;)
NurseJonathan 9
"Don't worry. It'll give your finger back."
mattlw 25
#47 If it were up to me, I would have given her a free visit.