Damn
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Today, I went to the free clinic down the street to prove to my girlfriend I don't have any STDs so that we can finally have sex. Turns out I have one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out I have an STD, courtesy of my girlfriend. Funnily enough, she was clean when we first started dating. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's thinking I had a UTI. Turns out I have an STD. FML
Today, during an unrelated appointment with my GP, he offered me a free check for chlamydia. Despite me reassuring him that I was STI free, he insisted that I should undergo the test. I ended up agreeing, only because I was too embarrassed to admit that I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, my fiancé is going to Planned Parenthood to see if he got herpes from a prostitute. FML
Today, I went to the local clinic and I met a really cute guy. We hit it off quite well, and he asked me out. It's like The Fault in Our Stars, but instead of cancer, we have STDs. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I also found out I have an STD. I was clean before we dated. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML
Today, while with my new boyfriend, my ex called to tell me I needed to go to the doctor to get checked out. He had gotten an STD from the girl he cheated on me with. FML
Today, I found out the girl I gave my virginity to gave me gonorrhea. FML
Today, it's been a troubled day. Me and my girlfriend got into it because she believes that I stepped out on her, which I didn’t. I haven’t had sex in over 15 years. I'd gotten an STI from a ex, and had no idea that I had anything, so now I’m "nasty" according to her. FML
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Top comments
missbadluk 0
That sucks so bad. But kudos to you for actually going to get tested. Most people don't and spread diseases left and right.
Mikko8 15
At least you know that now.
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Comments (170)
redfishbluefish2 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah.. you deserved that one.
dakotasgirl00 2
Look at OPS username.
indielove 13
Wrap it up. Simple concept.
xAttackAttackx 25
Well, If you can't shield your rocket, leave it in your pocket.
bjdavey 8
Don't be silly, wrap your willy.
epicaussie 6
If its not on... its not on ;)
rexgar2000 10
all these safe sex quotes O.O
fabian21 0
Don't be so random, wear a condom.
fabian21 0
Don't be so random, wear a condom.
fabian21 0
Don't be so random, wear a condom.
fabian21 0
Damn it, my iPod posted it three times
shagoopi 2
got an erecrion wear protection
phoenixslayer69 4
Don't bee a fool, wrap your tool.
arin2009 0
You all are ass holes!!!! You can get STD's without sex, some are actually bacterial infections that can be caught then transmitted through sex and others like crabs can just happen if they get into your underwear, you all need some edumication !!! But smack that raw dog and cuddle!!!!
cantthinkofawitt 0
Don't be a loner, cover your boner
phoenixslayer69 4
STI. Sexually transmitted infection
Daralea 21
Don't worry, fabian. It wasn't funny the first time either.
arin2009 0
66: no shit Sherlock, but you can get lice anywhere and he has lice, and tell a bio major who is going for a med degree who is right, I'm pretty sure I have a little more background than you! Just cause u can look it up online does not make you smarter or right!! Take a few med courses and talk to me k! Lol
glittercookies 12
Everyone who Is posting: when was the last time you have been tested?
Iknoweverything 29
Ooo, #70 I love this game... the whole "I say I'm a major in this, so I know more!" Last I checked, they taught this stuff in high school health classes. And by the way, it doesn't take an English major to read this post and realize that OP said "STD" and NOT crabs. So maybe lay off the whole "I'm right, you're wrong" thing... m'kay? Because you don't really have enough information to be calling us all assholes.
liindsey 25
arin2009 - For all that is good, I sincerely hope you don't have experience in the medical field if you can't even take the time to spell out the words "because" and "you". I wouldn't want you touching or treating me if my life depended on it.
anordinaryperson 1
You can be born with HIV
DjeePee 25
And you can get herpes and lices without even having sex. But most STD's are really sexual transmittable. Or that's atleast what they tought me. Oh, Arin2009, I thumbed you down not because you are wrong, but because you are so aggressive.
The_Troller 14
No glove no love.
ferrettamer 6
66: You can get AIDS from sharing a needle. Last time I checked, sharing a needle didn't involve sex.
DoubleDose 0
80- while you can be born with aids, you don't usually live long enough to be sexually active
tweetypie 18
96- depending on what meds you take and keeping yourself healthy, you can actually live a long life.
krez 20
#94, who would share a needle with someone who won't even put out?
rofflewaffle 9
It could easily be chlamydia. Most men have no symptoms at all. Maybe his last girlfriend cheated on him or didn't know she had it either. Try not to judge before knowing the whole story! And OP, be thankful you're finding out now instead of later. :)
Bajee 10
Ur an idiot. SEXUALLY transmitted disease not a yeast infection.
HollyDolly660 8
Can we go back to the safe sex jokes? :)
exleonhart 0
Wrap yer stump, before yah hump.
theTyler 0
You sir need to calm down.
firefail1031 0
66: just because it's a "sexually transmitted disease" doesn't mean that's how he obtained it. There's plenty of ways. That just means that's how it's most commonly transmitted. Chicken pox is sexually transmitted as well but it's just a contact issue. Doesn't mean he's dirty necessarily. Everyone takes shit so literally.
ankoku 2
I don't really want to get involved but it is possible to contract certain STD's without sexual contact. Sex is just the primary means of infection for those ailments
some_shit 0
If op was born with it, he'd know. If he was sharing needles well then there's not a whole lot of sympathy for him... And if it's crabs, he probably wouldn't post it here, he'd just shave
taetae169 0
Jr tryin to be hard with no deployment patch ahhh haha
legit0817 4
WE GOT A BADASS OVER HERE! ... STFU kid. No one cares if you look $3 med classes, ARIN.
i_lik_tomaters 21
Dont be silly wrap your willie
Mikko8 15
At least you know that now.
NuTrees 9
Orange you glad you went to the free clinic.
DerekBlaskie 6
There is this revolutionary thing called a condom.. Contrary to popular belief they were invented for STD control not birth control.. Fact.
missbadluk 0
That sucks so bad. But kudos to you for actually going to get tested. Most people don't and spread diseases left and right.
missbadluk 0
And by the way, she's a smart girl for making u go b4 having sex with u. (I'm assuming she did based off this fml).
ShyAnn29 15
Yeah, some guys (or in this case a girl) don't say anything!! I know from personal experience, sorry you have an STD OP, I do too, it will be ok though!
MsCupcakelover99 3
Lol
DerekBlaskie 6
I am impressed that people in this life still have some decency and don't just go around spreading STDs without care..
babe7260 30
Yes great job for being so responsible
Geneside 8
Old rule = no glove no love. You broke the rule so ydi
Coolguyt2 0
You would kno if he was using one or not. Maybe he was an it broke??
daka_fml 5
There is no reason for you to be so ignorant and cocky at the same time. Most common STDs like HPV & herpes can be contracted from skin contact. The condom only covers so much skin.
shadexilmaendu 4
Skin and fluids. If he's performing well, the condoms not gonna keep the rest of the pubic area dry. I think something like 1 in 4 people have hpv; it's that common. And in males symptomless. Assuming he didn't use a condom is just as ignorant as having careless sexual encounters.
saIty 17
There's always ear sex, which can be quite exhilarating.
ZeDolphinator 7
I enjoy bellybutton sex. Maybe you would, too.
Enslaved 38
5, Is that so she can hear you cum?
perdix 31
It's called aural sex.
KittyJay 3
Once you go black, you go deaf... :)
godbear 5
hmmm reminds me of family guy
Dudelike89 8
Ear sex: coining the term, "once you go black, you go deaf!"
lexihoneyy 0
But then he might get hearing aids..
katmazing 10
hearing aids only AID in hearing, if you're completely deaf they don't work for you
dreamweaver1227 11
You somehow missed the joke.
steviesnm 6
Sounds like you weren't all for going to the clinic in the first place, which is shitty if you've -ever- been in a situation where you could get a STD.
chaosdragn16 2
Not everyone knows -.- not everyone shows very visual signs when they have it (male & female) though females show more symptoms typically.
steviesnm 6
I said if he were in a -situation- where he could contract an STD. If he can't use protection, he deserves it.
Buttsexpirate 9
Now you know and knowing is half the battle.
Pslcybn5 7
G.I. Joe!
DoubleDose 0
G.I. Jose, Robot chicken reference
DjeePee 25
Well, even with a STD, you could always have sex with a condom on. I'm glad you tested it, and I hope it's an STD that can be cured.
KaskStunter 4
Seriously? Get your facts checked. A condom may prevent HIV but it doesn't prevent the transmission of all STDs.
Cappiej 18
Well, I doubt. Why would a condom be able to stop you from spreading HIV when it isn't able to prevent you from spreading others?
BellaBelle_fml 23
Condoms only reduce the transmission of the organisms that cause AIDS, genital herpes, cervical cancer, genital warts, syphilis, chlamydia, gonorrhea, and a few other STI's. Although a condom is effective in limiting exposure, some disease transmission may occur even with a condom. Infectious areas of the genitals, especially when symptoms are present, may not be covered by a condom, and as a result, some diseases can be transmitted by direct contact. The primary effectiveness issue with using condoms to prevent STDs, however, is inconsistent use.
juturnaamo 29
Negative! Warts and herpes get through for 2 reasons: 1, the cells are very tiny and more importantly 2, the infections are spread through skin contact, and the condom is only covering the shaft.
chaosdragn16 2
Wow you people are poorly educated. 81 is correct. Condoms can only guarantee limited exposure not preventing transmission. If your skin don't touch, and the condom don't break how is it supposed to spread? Plus only a very few stds are through contact. They are typically spread by fluids from the infected person entering into some kind of orifice on their partner! Which can be there without them even realizing it.
decidedlyvague 11
63- reread your comment and explain to me how that makes sense. It can stop AIDS, but gl stopping anything else? ey, wut? Condoms are meant as a preventative means to stop the spread of STDS and Babies. There is never a sure fire guarantee, but at least you have that chance of not catching that pesky gingivitis.
NOWAYJOSE 14
I'm glad your girlfriend insisted.
Nuahavizu 17
I agree, It just proves that the OP is with a responsible girl who is going about life with a fairly down to earth mindset.
FlashBurn 13
Don't be silly, protect your willy! Trojan man is disappoint.