Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jacking it. He wouldn't continue and let me watch. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, I thought he went to change the music on his phone. He'd actually stopped mid-action just to check sports scores. FML
Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend decided to have some fun in my room before my parents got home. My phone started vibrating half-way through, and when I saw my mom's picture, I reflexively answered. It wasn't a phone call. It was a FaceTime. Busted. FML
Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend, when his doorbell rang. He said it was his friend and that he'd be back soon. He shut off his video feed but forgot to mute his audio. A few minutes later, I heard him and some orgasm-faking girl getting it on in the background. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
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Top comments
namyo 13
Siri who is a naughty girl? "I am sir"
xnikkilynn 11
"I can't find that location."
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Comments (79)
ComoEsJuan 24
I've got to try that.
euphoricness 28
Can I watch
ComoEsJuan 24
Absolutely! You can hold my iPhone!
euphoricness 28
Yay!
DogeMan 14
... Wat did I just read
tj4234 36
#52. With literacy skills like that, i'm surprised you can read...
AddictGamer 16
This is the part of FML that your sarcasm is so good, people actually think you're stupid.
fireheart1029 10
It's a abbreviation
namyo 13
Siri who is a naughty girl? "I am sir"
sayyestothedress 24
You should ask her: "who's your daddy?!?" And she responds: "you are sir"
garrett_8614 14
I literally just tried that after reading your comment #16 Her response: "My daddy? I don't get it." Lol
incoherentrmblr 22
"I am a bastard..."
marzipanimal 15
To me she said,"I know this must mean something, everybody keeps asking me this question."
Googolman 29
I asked Siri, "Who's your daddy?", and she replied, "You are. Can we get back to work now?"
sayyestothedress 24
I asked Siri "who's your daddy?" And she replied "I forget" lol
PenguinBitch 44
I asked Siri "who's your daddy?" And she replied with "who's yours?" And then I cried because I'm Batman.
xnikkilynn 11
"I can't find that location."
shadypalmtree 20
I guess you sound like her... I don't know what to say to that
ShadowlessSpear 21
Apparently you do.
thatnucca 36
Giving Don Jon a run for his money...
LeBandit 20
siri talk dirty to me
laden_swallow09 35
"Dirt. Soil. Loam. Gravel."
1tsmenoah 20
*Queue saxophone riff*
theinsidiousgeek 9
I thought I was the only one
WCARlover 35
Gotta wonder how that went. "How can I assist you?" "Oh yes Siri you're doing just fine."
Mii99 16
That sexy voice doe
kyuubi1 14
poor siri just because she has a robot girl voice all the horny guys want a piece of her circuit board.