Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
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Top comments
Imagril 0
How old is that kid? seriously he needs some sense of respect kicked into him
suckstobeyou3 0
Ground that little brat for being an asshole.
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Comments (311)
mintfreshpinesol 0
Haha, OUCH
erika_lynnex 1
thank you so much for not saying "firsttttt!!!!!!!!!" like an idiot :)
b182link 0
well you shouldn't have screamed so loud, I wouldve done the same
scvcwcheer 0
I agree with 291. YDI for embarrassing him
brainsoverbeauty 21
He still has no right to refer to his mother as "some fat bitch." That is no way to treat a mother who is showing support for you.
crazymase 9
so true^
chickinova 13
i agree with 291 and 305. ydi for shouting so loud, hes a douche for saying that
Vaati_fml 20
Exactly
Hanipan 6
#291, #293, #318 Don't ever have kids, you stupid *****. She was supporting that child - and this is the thanks she gets? She doesn't deserve this, but you three do. Just because neither of you never had any supportive parents doesn't mean you should dog someone who IS being a supportive parent.
L2U7A_E5I9A2E8H 20
Yup, how to get grounded 101.
wowfmlife 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
hahahahaha niiice
dubvfan2 0
lose weight...
butterflys322 0
lose weight...
Amystika 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you obviously embarrassed him.
yeaboiii 0
HA beat his ass! if it were my kid he wouldn't be able to sit down for a month.....lil ******
iJasper 8
Lmao, x3
nicework 0
what r u going to do to him to make him not be able to sit down???
SUEHIM 0
Have you ever played soccer? One of the most annoying things is fat bitchy soccer moms calling peoples names from the sideline
EverdreamOfMe 24
So beat his ass for understandably not wanting to be linked to his mother? No, the mother was in the wrong here. Poor kid.
JohnSly21 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
id be pretty embarrassed even if u werent a whale
Freaklancer 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
WTF. Don't beat your son please. He probably thought you were a random person. Most likely.
habick 4
Your an idiot
anjtrg_1112 23
You're*
suckstobeyou3 0
Ground that little brat for being an asshole.
ZleveL 0
why would you ground, they don't learn from that! you gotta beat the sense into him
hahaLexinater 0
ya grounding him won't but beating him will! haha
Mars_bar123 0
Haha, that's kind of funny.