Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
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Top comments
Imagril 0
How old is that kid? seriously he needs some sense of respect kicked into him
suckstobeyou3 0
Ground that little brat for being an asshole.
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Comments (311)
resawins 0
haaaaaaahahahahaha!!!!!! totally not funny but i'm laughing. sorry to hear that. that woulda hurt :-/
infiniti_fml 0
#58/59 - When your mom is enthusiastically cheering for you at a soccer game, the least you can do is appreciate her love and concern for you. Even if it embarassed you, it is unnecessary and uncalled for to call her a "fat bitch". I realize it may be embarassing if your mom is hysterical, but wouldn't a quiet talk after the game be suffice? You can tell your friend it's your mom and you need to do something about that behaviour or something, but insulting the person who gave birth to you, gave life to you, and one of the few people who will EVER support you forever is against every moral and virtue. It's just completely humiliating for a mother to have a kid to do that to her. And contrary to whatever notion of overprotectiveness out there, this is not even a case of overprotectiveness. The mom is just cheering her son on, albeit loudly and perhaps embarassingly. That's not being protective. That's being supportive. If her mom didn't attend the game, what would we get? Another FML? "Today, I had a big soccer game, and my mom couldn't find the time in her busy schedule to slot in a time for me to cheer me on. FML" If being an outcast is more important to you than your mom, then you have serious issues. If you think looking cool in front of a bunch of superficial retards is more important than your mom, then you need to get your head straigh.
aimless 0
I'm with 17...he will appreciate your support when he's a little older, but for now, it's a bit embarrassing to be singled out by your parents in public. It's nothing personal and you may be neither fat not a bitch, but it's the Parent thing, and it goes for every last one of them.
Robinhood_fml 0
#85 praise the lord. Amen.
checkyesbecca 0
hahaha my mom does that to me at my soccer & lacrosse games. i think it's rather funny though so i always tell my teammates that it's my mom who is screaming. (: your son needs to lighten up, no offense or anything.
AsianGreen 0
oh mannnn....u should clean that filthy mouth with some soap...
cartering 0
You were cheering at the top of your lungs? you couldn't honestly have expected him to have admitted ever seeing you before, unless it was to say you were something like his aunt who was just released from the mental hospital and was refusing to take her meds
nammz 0
I'm 15 right now and I have to say I would never call my mom that. parents are embarassing and sometimes you do try to play them off, but calling my mom a 'fat bitch'? no way.
plzfml4real 0
This is hilarious. Maybe think again before cheering for your son at the top of your lungs! Everyone should know kids, especially teens, get embarrassed easily by their parents!
angelsnarrows 0
All these people saying "ground him" or "nooooo dont whoop him" and "TALK to him" THOSE are the reasons kids are doing crap like THIS. because they get "talked to" or "grounded" oh heaven forbid they dont get to watch their precious t.v.. If I EVER said that about my mother my daddy would have beat my butt! I was brought up to have RESPECT for my elders ESPECIALLY my parents. and all this politically correct "dont spank your kids its child abuse" bull is getting REALLY old. he should be grateful that his parents care enough to be at his game much less cheering and supporting him.