Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was kicking my soccer ball with my father. My mom pulled out in the car without checking and ran into to me. FML
Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, my dad was completely engrossed in a football game on TV, so, trying to be cute and funny, my mom flashed him. He didn't notice, but I did. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, my dad threw my boyfriend into the street naked. We weren’t even having sex, I was fully dressed in the kitchen, and my boyfriend was showering after his rugby game. My dad is also his teammate, and it was all a stupid prank by the team. I hate jocks sometimes. FML
Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML
Today, I argued heavily with my dad over being dragged to a family game of lacrosse. All through the game, he kept "accidentally" hurling the ball straight at me on the sideline. After he eventually nailed me straight in the heart, he screamed at me to "get out of the fucking way". FML
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Top comments
philzilla 1
Two things: first, you may need glasses second, good throw from a distance
marinus_fml 20
You don't learn anything in soccer practice anyways...
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Comments (110)
recentlydeleted 0
second
sukaaa 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
dumbass y would u ever disrespect ur old folks like that even if he didnt show up its no reason to do shit like that
MissErikaHart 0
cuz those type of kids r spoiled. tsk tsk
kaileigh10 2
he/she didn't try to do it on purpose. they tried to kick it over to his feet.
twitch851 9
stfu
jcortez1594 0
Because our parents let us do whatever the **** we want ^^
djstiv3 15
lol little kids giving thumbs down, dont understand that its disrespectful
aliadnan708 6
maybe u should've made sure he was ur dad be4 throwing it at random ppl
dogatmycrib779 0
she could have just said sorry i kicked it
joeinthedark 18
I hope that's a mis-type. Otherwise you're adding a whole new dimension to this FML. What does being Jewish have to do with throwing a ball at a stranger's head?
fyllmao 0
your a douche mabey your jealous cause ur dads got swaggaa
MissErikaHart 0
or whoever the guy was...
Air_Force001 0
swagger is for niggers
DocBastard 40
You're* douch.* maybe* you're* because* your* dad's* swagger* Learn English, please.
VivaLaCobra22 0
Ooh, you tell em', DocBastard! Haha. (:
fyllmao 0
it's fml not ******* English class chill
zyzter 0
I thought douche has the e
Addi123 0
Hey bastard, douche has an e and the "your" after because should be you're. Maybe you should learn proper grammar before trying to teach others. You just look like an idiot Now :P
Addi123 0
Ohh wait... that your is correct, I wasn't thinking there for a second. Sorry! :/
Steelersman 9
peoplzzz this iz not enlishhh classss so calm dowwn.
charlton2142 5
Well you spelt "a" right
marinus_fml 20
You don't learn anything in soccer practice anyways...
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Marinus.. Are you trying to start a footy debate?
marinus_fml 20
There's nothing to debate... it's fact.. :)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I can just as easily say that, you don't learn anything in rugby practice either. :P
thatonename 7
Very much agreed.
marinus_fml 20
What makes you think I play rugby you stalker? Haha, well there are a lot of set moves that must be practiced and perfected as a team. Where as in soccer everyone could quite easily practice on their own or maybe with a sibling. Just practice your kicking and accuracy etc. I'm just stirring you don't worry! I actually used to play soccer! Great game! But I think my point is still valid :)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Haha, I know you play rugby, since there have been many debates about American football vs. rugby, and you're always arguing about rugby. There are these things called set pieces which you must practice to get right in football. Also, practicing on your own, or with a friend, does not compare to practicing with a team. There's a lot more to football than you think. Mini debate thing over now?
marinus_fml 20
Set pieces include the classical "one two' move? hehe that takes agessss to master :) Anyways, yea I think I won the mini debate so we can end it there.
todo350 0
marinus, i prefer rugby league my self, but obviously in soccer you have to practice team plays and whatnot, and training as a team also makes you more co-ordinated in game. Go the Sea Eagles! ^^
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I hate the comment bug.): I just posted a long reply to that last comment you made, and it didn't show up. Gah.
marinus_fml 20
Comment bug sucks hey! That's why I always copy what I wrote before I submit the comment ;)
TaylorTotsYumm 10
That's a good idea. I'm going to do that from now on. (:
RedPillSucks 33
*giggle* marinus and TaylorTotsYumm are playing footsie
Mylifeskool 0
I use to think you were funny and had respect for you when you were doing your it could have been worse thing, but soccer is my favorite sport :(
TaylorTotsYumm 10
76, it's mine, also.
marinus_fml 20
It's my second favorite!
deedeedeniel 17
Oohhh aha I just got that lol. Soccer players have to learn how to do good throw ins:p
SpaceMannn 0
you're mean.
Carpy 8
nice going being a douchebag
Cinn_fml 23
Are you sure he didn't have a valid reason for being late? Also, why would you throw the ball at someone anyway (irrespective of where)? It's rude regardless of whether or not it's your dad. There are better and more constructive ways of letting someone know you're cross with them that don't involve throwing things or violence.
DerFuhrer33 0
you need to get laid
BiggerThenUrs 0
agreed, she does need to get laid..
todo350 0
**** i agree. have told cinn these things before
Cinn_fml 23
It wouldn't change a thing you idiots.
EvilDoll 7
We don't want you to CHANGE something, hunny. we want you to LOSE something.
Mister_Grinch 0
You're awesome Cinn, ignore these 12 year old fat lards sitting behind a screen with their hands in their pants.
iknowwhatimsayin 0
12 year old fat lards with their hands in their pants? you both need to get laid.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
What did Cinn ever do to you to make you pricks so bitter. She makes valid and wonderful points in every comment she posts. If you don't like her comments, you can avert your eyes, and keep your dim-witted thoughts to yourselves.
Cinn_fml 23
Evildoll, I think you need to lose it because then you might lighten up and be a nice person. Thanks, Grinch and TaylorTots.
feyz_fml 4
word
iamchuck 0
Nope, your dad was still on his way. And how do you hit his head if you aimed at his feet? That's like six feet off, give or take.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
Unless his dad is a 'little person.'
kaileigh10 2
LMMFAO
kaileigh10 2
they suck at soccer
iamchuck 0
Good call, Tots.
blankaex 0
Not painful. It's a soccer ball.