Today, I went to my son's soccer game. I cheered his name at the top my lungs and waved with a grin on my face. I saw him whisper something to a team mate so I watched the film my husband took later that night. His friend asked, "Who is that?" and my son replied, "I don't know some fat bitch." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to my son's school soccer game. Unfortunately, I couldn't get excited about it because my idiot son kept diving the moment anyone so much as breathed on him. It eventually earned him a penalty shot that won him the game. I was so ashamed, I snuck out to avoid being seen with him. FML
Today, I was at a soccer game when some guys walking behind me yelled that I had a nice ass. I then heard someone shout, "Hey, assholes. That's my daughter." He yelled at them for quite a while. He wasn't my dad, just some weird dude. FML
Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML
Today, at a soccer game held by my girlfriend's family, some idiot went to kick the ball, missed by a mile, and hit the ground hard. So I started a slow, sarcastic clap. I got a load of angry looks, followed by verbal abuse when we found out he'd split his head open on the ground. FML
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I was at a baseball game. This kid in front of me had binoculars and was constantly shouting. Trying to amuse the girl next to me, I leaned over and said, "That kid probably has wet dreams about baseball." She got up and said to the kid, "Come on honey, we're leaving." FML
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
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Top comments
Imagril 0
How old is that kid? seriously he needs some sense of respect kicked into him
suckstobeyou3 0
Ground that little brat for being an asshole.
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Comments (311)
cadwmd 0
Don't ever take what your kids say to friends, personally... they're just trying to be cool!!
lnm701 0
Your son is a brat. Having your parents single you out is embarrassing, yes, but you don't call your mother a "fat bitch." Smack him.
chanceuse_fml 0
I agree with #21.
spektorish 0
I agree that sometimes doing that is more embarrassing than inspiring. But... the shitbag needs to learn respect. Kick his face in.
pirates_go_yarrr 0
Your son is a disrespectful little twat who should be disciplined.
Bookie2152 0
#8- no. How come it is not right to teach your kids some manners? Regardless if he thought it was someone else, that does not make it right. I say discipline him. That's why the world is getting the way it is; parents are afraid to discipline their children.
BRBICECREAMTRUCK 0
ouch, thats gotta hurt. i wonder what he said about it
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
I'm not usually the type to like being singled out, like a lot of other people have said. Although, seriously, your kid is an asshole for calling you a fat bitch. He didn't have a legitimate reason for doing so. You can yell at him for doing it though. At least, you have a reason.
ohhhhshizzz 0
#9/10 need to get off the Internet, because they obviously talk shit about people they can't see nor know. It is rather funny really, because they wouldn't say it to the OPs face. I would ask my son what he said, then I would show him the video. Then REALLY be a bitch to him, like if he asks something be like whatever, if he wants to go to the mall you don't feel like it. He want's to go to a party, NOPE. Oh and stop washing his clothes, he should learn by now if he can say all of that. But you shouldn't do that, it really is embarrasing 'top of your lungs?' No, just cheer for his team.
acvball92 0
he probablly didn't mean you were fat, when i say "fat bitch" it's usual just a general insult not really meaning she's a fat bitch. but the kid needs more respect