Today, while jogging, I heard an odd clapping sound over the sound of my iPod. I stopped running, and the sound stopped. This continued for an hour before I realized the slapping sound was my thighs slapping together violently. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, while on the treadmill, my iPod fell and shot out underneath my feet. I got off to get it, and when I tried to get back on, I slipped and fell on my face on the moving track. The whole gym watched me get beat up by a treadmill and clapped when I finally got back on. FML
Today, I was walking up some stairs and heard a noise as if someone was following me. The faster I went, the louder the noise got. I was too scared to realize that it was just my thighs causing my jeans to chafe. FML
Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML
Freaked
Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML
The great escape
Today, I decided to start jogging again for the first time in months. I made it one block before tripping over the curb. I fell so hard, my phone flew out of my pocket and hit a parked car, setting off its alarm. I ran off when I saw house curtains all around me start to twitch. FML
Today, while jogging, I realized my face jiggles more than my breasts. FML
Running man
Today, I'm training for my first half marathon so I went for a run in a busy park. I tripped on a completely flat path in front of about twenty people. Not only did I fall, but my wireless earbuds flew out dramatically in opposite directions. Some wise ass golf clapped. FML
Ouch
Today, I thought my knee hurt because of over exercising in the gym. Then I remembered it was because I smacked it against my chair so hard I crumbled down and couldn't move for 5 minutes. And how I remembered? I did it again. FML
No pain, no gain
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML
Jog on
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Top comments
Calivale 7
2 choices! 1)Keep jogging 2) turn the music up!
Moota 9
You're jogging those thunder thighs off though, so it's okay OP!
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Comments (193)
Calivale 7
2 choices! 1)Keep jogging 2) turn the music up!
briandunlikelmo 0
THUNDAAA THIIIGHS
fabian21 0
I applaud you for your skills.
redbluegreen 41
I'd give you a standing ovation but it seems you already have that covered.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Sucks to be you, ydi if you are unhappy with the results of your weight and choose to let yourself be that way. YDI
Iskaria 0
54 - That is probably why OP is jogging? To lose the weight? Duh? (Jeez...)
enonymous 9
Op if it makes you feel any better I made a remix mp3 of 10 guys fapping off... It should drown out any of your own fapping
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
My point was they deserve it for letting it get to that point in the first place.
enonymous 9
So you deserve it for letting your stupidity get to this point? Good logic I approve **** bettering yourself.
blaablaa_fml 5
My_Sweet_Shadow, do you have a stick up your nether area or are you always this negative? Seriously, OP is actually doing something and what did you do? Seriously, the world doesn't need any more negative pricks like you.
alycion 39
Not always in someone's control either. Certain medical conditions and medicines can cause these issues. I once had me weight shoot up 30 pounds in a month from a medication. Took a lot longer to get it back off.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
You guys are so serious, this site is supposed to be for fun. And I just checked and I couldn't find any sticks up my butt. Thanks for the downrating!
niplipsip 9
people don't have to be extremely overweight or even fat for their thighs to rub together lol. I've seen plenty of average girls whose thighs rubbed together just because of the way they walked. at least OP's doing something about it now. the past has passed.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
I guess so but the shear image they gave us lead myself and many others that they were overweight. But it is what is.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
and many others to think* sorry for the typo... they should add an edit function on here.
StoryOfTheYear 15
115- And you say we have sticks up our ass? Calm down, posting that much is not making you look any better. Let it go and live to post another day. P.S. There is an edit function. Two minutes after posting your comment can be edited.
alyssamarie03 0
Just keep movin..
sambyrdPF 4
What is YDI?
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
First of all I'm not posting to make myself look better, it's simply me responding to other people. I don't need the approval of random people to make my day. Second I don't get upset over silly things such as comments on an FML app. Also, thanks for the heads up on the edit function although I can't find it on the mobile app.
1221jamw 11
My_sweet_shadow, You're probably some morbidly obese immature 20 year old thinking that it's fun to put other people down. You're nothing but a selfish prick.
bfsd42 20
My sweet shadow, just stop it ok. The hole you're digging is getting deeper and deeper. Give up, accept that your comments all sucked and get on with your life. You have successfully achieved auto thumbs down status thanks to your terrible, awful comments.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
1221jamw, your assumptions couldn't be further from the truth but you are entitled to your opinion. Bfsd, I am not digging myself into a hole, you and the others hopping on the bandwagon due to my first comment. Which in fact wasn't really that harsh, I didn't curse them out, call them any sort of harsh/obnoxious name, just stated my opinion on the situation. Nothing about the rest of my comments are actually negative either but you guys still downrate them. It's akin to mob mentality. I will stop posting when I stop having anything to say, if you don't like what I have to say then just ignore my comments, it's as simple as that. You may not agree with me but you don't need to attack my character because of my opinion.
awesome1775 5
You are the dumbest ******* person alive. Even more than my stupid friend. My_ sweet_shadow I mean.
adrayy 4
^"Even more than my stupid friend." is not a sentence.Try again, mister high-and-mighty.
ballerinaaub 17
Does he ever shut up?
1221jamw 11
My_sweet_shadow, actually you are the one making assumptions. How do you know it was her choice to be overweight? An above commenter pointed this out, it very well could be by a medication, something you should try.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Jamw - You are being quite hypocritical... You are in fact assuming that there is an external situation causing them to be overweight. It's always funny when people try to play that card, what you or I say/believe is just speculation on both our parts, unless we were actually able get a response from the OP. By your logic - how do you know it was not her choice to be overweight? Also, telling me I need medication because my view doesn't agree with yours? And you think I am in the wrong here? Every person that has responded to my comments negatively, has gone well out of their way to harass or attack me in some way, yet my original comment wasn't even an attack. Yet do you see me attacking the other commenters? No, I don't because it's pathetic really and says more about their character than mine. You can disagree with me by all means, just do so politely.
1221jamw 11
I disagree with you, Ma'am.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
That's fine and i'm not sure if your second comment was an attempt at making a jab at me but I'm not a woman.
SummerFever 8
Just. Stop. Commenting. Already.
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Stop reading my comments if you don't like them... I don't see why you come back to an old FML just to complain.
doglover339 4
Ok guys seriously this is FML u both need to calm down.... Get over your selves and stop arguing it's just an fml no need to argue pointlessly over something that u will probably never know the full story of
My_Sweet_Shadow 4
Once again, I am not angry. Thanks for your concern though. Comments section here is just for that, commenting!
Moota 9
You're jogging those thunder thighs off though, so it's okay OP!
commonlogicz42 6
Don't let it bother you your jogging so that those thighs will one day be adequately separated. Use it as motivation to work out more. I bet half the people who try to use this comment board to put you down could stand to lose a few pounds. For the meantime, volume up!
DryHumor 4
It's difficult for me to understand how people get this large.
fap5v 2
What does "op" mean?
benderbot19 0
Opera pants
Vash879 0
She's a liar, if her thighs are do big they slap together you can be almost certain she'd die if she ran for an hour.
fanceh 10
Ovary punch.
Wdgames 0
Ostrich Penis.
molly2moon 0
Owl Powers
yodas0da 12
You bring truth to the statement, "thunder thighs." hahaha its all good op, keep exercising & that'll solve your problem.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
And I bet that clapping produced a better beat than the shitty mainstream music of today.
StoryOfTheYear 15
That's an opinion.
kaprookie 3
*Makes some popcorn and gets ready for the inevitable war over how good mainstream music is today*
FYLDeep 26
How could anyone try to argue that mainstream music is good? It's all 4/4 and simplistic. It's designed to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
louiseth 9
If it sounds good, ******* listen to it. The argument of mainstream vs indie is the stupidest ******* argument I've ever heard. We're not having it today, ok?
XenaWP 6
Just want to point out that OP never said what kind of music they were listening to so this isn't even worth a point of discussion.
TheNewGuy03 29
Fap to the rhythm, fap to the beat... |the kid|
Yodaevil 4
57-useless point! They just want to argue about it! (;
alone_unafraid 0
Ah, but that is why I only listen to, and lift while listening to dubstep and trance. So much win!!
ShroomsOnAcid 17
50- The happy birthday song sounds good, marry had a little lamb sounds good, yankee doodle sounds good, but would any of us really say it's quality music? Everyone has different tastes, but when music is more complex, it can take you on a different level of consciousness. And no, no drugs required. Plus, I specifically said "beat", which as fyldeep said, you can't argue against.
bfsd42 20
50, yes ma'am. Lol. Who are you to decide what gets debated here?
Magic1 9
Hahaha perfect timing #27!
FYLDeep 26
That's why I like me some Believer. That shit's good. I guess I don't mind the logic that if you like it then listen to it, but the part the irritates me is that the inverse of it doesn't work out. If you don't like mainstream music, you can't not listen to it because it's everywhere. So if that point makes sense to you, great, if not, then what I was trying to say was, "**** Justin Bieber."
louiseth 9
I was more on the track of, if you think it sounds good personally, listen to it. Have you ever been listening to an album, then all of a sudden everyone else is too? I assume if you're into strictly "underground" music, you must have had a favourite artist gain more popularity and become mainstream, and it probably would've annoyed you. But this doesn't change the quality of the music itself. All I'm saying is enjoy your music, regardless of whether other people enjoy it too. And yes, **** Justin Bieber.
louiseth 9
As for complex music, I agree, it is great to find a really amazing song/artist, but sometimes you can just listen to the simple stuff because it's catchy. Though you'll probably forget the song in a few months, it was good fun at the time.
FYLDeep 26
I can appreciate indie music but it's really not my thing. I'm more of a metalhead/rock'n'roll type guy. And no it doesn't bother me if they become more famous. That just makes it more likely that they'll produce more music. There was a Wisconsin band called Luna Mortis that was pretty damn good and had a killer first album but their label didn't promote them enough and eventually dropped them. The band dissolved shortly afterwards. I think that's a shame.
rowanessence 4
IMHO music tends to be better when it's not made solely for the purpose of making money
FYLDeep 26
The best musicians are the ones that can focus on being musicians, and don't have to work side jobs for their money.
Muser97 1
It's everywhere because ppl r brainwashed into thinking it's actual music.
EnEl_Infierno 15
How do you not notice that, that sound was coming from your own thighs?
FaraPjJammaz 13
Agreed! It's not like you can't feel your own thighs. Especially if they're in such a condition where you actually start HEARING them.
Ranimal 12
Ummm, they did notice. Eventually.
EnEl_Infierno 15
How come I got buried and #26 didn't we both basically said the same thing just worded differently?
claudio117 12
HA IM #5
kaprookie 3
Seems like you might need to learn how to count, buddy.
Italiae 7
there could b some good news : u may hav found the beat to a new song
starsfan_9 7
The song could be titled, "the clap between my legs" instant classic
drealmorales 2
Your probably going to get a red rash.....
screamo_neve 12
*you're
xeldawyn 14
As opposed to a blue one?
Dramori 29
Ah well, at least you're doing something about the situation by getting off your ass to jog! *claps* ;)
hidingmaster 2
No need to clap, they got that down already.
sambyrdPF 4
Nice picture Dramori
MwahFMLS 6
Keep on joggin.