Today, my mom woke me up from a wet dream, because I was moaning too loudly. I'm a 32 year-old virgin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML
Today, while I was sleeping I heard my girlfriend moaning. She was seemed to be having a wet dream. She moaned more in her dream than when having sex with me. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Today, I’m 20 and my mom is well aware I’m having sex. Nonetheless, this morning when my boyfriend was going down on me under the covers, she marched into my room without knocking, dumped a load of wet laundry on my sofa, and walked back out. FML
Today, after six long, hard years of involuntary celibacy, I was finally about to get laid. Except it was just a dream, and in it my mom stormed in just as things got heated, called me a useless cunt, and told me to go do my chores. I guess my brain forgot I moved out years ago. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my man juice all over me. I'm 40 years-old, and haven’t had a wet dream since my early high school days. The worst part is that the only dream I remember involved going to the DMV. FML
Today, my mom told me that I am going to end up getting myself pregnant. I am 21 and a virgin. She continued to yell at me and call me a liar all night. I don't know which is worse, being a 21 year old virgin or my mother accusing me of lying about it. FML
Today, I had the most action in months when I woke up to a wet dream. I'm married, I guess that tells you all about my sex life. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
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Top comments
HAtEEONiHt 2
im always afraid this might happen to me ! 😂
rotflqtms_ 21
If you want to moan loudly without being woken up by your mom, get your own place...
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Comments (3)
Jon Tessler 14
being a 32 year old Virgin is not something to be ashamed of, nor is moaning loudly. try biting down on a pillow the next time you enjoy a dream. also explain to Mom that you "don't want to woken up".
rotflqtms_ 21
If you want to moan loudly without being woken up by your mom, get your own place...
Jon Tessler 14
for some people, that isn't a possibility in these crappy economic times
rotflqtms_ 21
can't find the reply to my comment on the app for some reason... if someone is living in my house, they don't have the right to make me feel uncomfortable. If I don't want to hear you moan, I'm walking you up. Don't tell me you don't want to be woken up while living under my roof. If you want to jerk off after waking up, do so quietly. She woke him up because he was moaning too loudly. She does not need to listen to a grown man moaning if she doesn't want to and if he has a problem with being woken up, either learn to have quieter wet dreams, wake up and jerk off or move out. Her place her rules. Even if it's not her place and they share bills, it's rude to expect your mom to listen to you have sex dreams and to tell her not to wake you up when you're doing it within earshot of her. I'm not having an issue with OP living with his mom, but I do have an issue with the advice to tell her not to wake him up when he's having a wet dream.
Jon Tessler 14
it's rude to be woken up and told be quiet. that is a subject that can be discussed after the person is finished. heck, did you ever tell your parents to "be quiet" when the had sex while you were growing up "IN THEIR HOUSE? your long diatribe about being a prude, says more about you than anything else.
HAtEEONiHt 2
im always afraid this might happen to me ! 😂
Jon Tessler 14
lol. have fun, moan as loud as you want